Dangerous Desires

55

"When Arsenio used to do this to me, you would be the one to understand and listen, now since we are in a relationship. You've changed, that wasn't fair that you went on and told Antonio what I wanted and thought he wasn't right for the job. I think he's perfect," I looked at him.

Mark's face softened, his heart clenching at the comparison between him and Arsenio. He couldn't deny that he had allowed his emotions and concerns to get the better of him, but he also knew that I wasn't being entirely fair either. 

"I didn't mean to talk about your wishes behind your back. It just... It slipped out during our conversation," he explained, his voice gentle. "And I never said Antonio wasn't right for the job. I just... I'm worried about you, babe. You've been through so much, and I just don't want you to be hurt again."

"This is making me upset, just let me have this please and if you don't want me to do this. You know where the door is,".

That comment hit Mark like a punch to the gut, his eyes widening as his heart skipped a beat. "Babe, don't... Don't say that," he said, his voice catching in his throat. The idea of losing me or walking away from me like that was inconceivable to him. Yet he also knew this was not the time nor the place for an emotional outburst.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "I just want what's best for you," he said, his voice quiet but sincere.

"I know and I get that but I want this. I want Tenebroso to grow up and have someone else to go to as well, apart from us. I'm looking out for Tenebroso not just myself,".

Mark's heart clenched further at my words. Despite the hurt and frustration, I was still thinking of Tenebroso, the child we both cared for deeply. He couldn't deny the validity of my point, but he still couldn't shake his worries. 

He took a step closer to me, his voice quieter but no less earnest. "I know you're thinking of Tenebroso. And I love you for that. But I'm also thinking of you, babe. I'm just scared that..." he trailed off, his voice catching.

"Antonio has been helping us, been helping me through Arsenio's situation as well. He is right for the job just because he took over Arsenio's job doesn't mean he isn't right for the role for me. Please Mark..."

Mark's shoulders slumped slightly, his resolve crumbling under the weight of my words. He knew he couldn't deny my reasoning and he had to admit that Antonio had been a rock for both of us during a challenging time. He took a shaky breath, his eyes meeting mine. "Okay," he said softly. "If this is what you truly want... I'll support your decision."

He stepped closer to me, his hands coming up to gently take mine, their warmth reassuring in my grasp. "I trust you, and I trust your judgment," he murmured, his voice sincere. "And I'm sorry if I didn't seem to be on your side earlier. I just... I didn't want you to get hurt, to replace one father figure too quickly with another."

"But I can see your point," he added, his thumbs tracing small, soothing circles on the back of my hands. "Antonio... He may be rough around the edges, but he does care about you, deeply. In his own way, he's been a stabilizing force for us, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, he has..." I replied gently.

Mark smiled faintly, bringing my hands up to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to my knuckles. "I trust your decision," he repeated, his eyes meeting mine with unwavering determination. "And I promise, I won't try to talk you out of it again. I just... I hope Antonio won't hurt you the way Arsenio did."

The mention of Arsenio made his expression tighten again, his eyes briefly flickering with a mixture of anger and pain. The wounds from Arsenio's betrayal were still fresh, still deeply intertwined with his protectiveness of me.

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to push Arsenio out of his mind. "I'll support you both," he said firmly, his voice regaining its strength. "I'll support you, and I'll support Antonio in being the father figure Tenebroso needs. I promise, babe."

A little bit later, Mark went to work due to a shift he needed to get done. Antonio was quietly pottering around the house, tidying up bits and pieces here and there. The scene was surprisingly domestic, a far cry from his usually aloof demeanour. Tenebroso was sleeping soundly in a nearby crib, the only sound in the otherwise quiet house.

Antonio, having finished his tidying, leaned against the kitchen doorframe, watching me work. His expression was neutral, but there was a hint of tension in his eyes, a sign that he was grappling with something internally. After a few moments of silence, he spoke up, his voice gravelly as usual. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," I turned around to face him.

Antonio took a deep breath, crossing his arms across his chest as he pushed off the doorframe and walked further into the kitchen. His gaze lingered on me, assessing my mood and expression. "I need to ask you something," he said, his eyes meeting mine directly, not wavering despite his usual aloofness. I nodded.

Antonio paused for a moment, seeming to consider his words carefully. It was rare to see him this thoughtful, his usual bluntness replaced by a subtle sensitivity. Finally, he spoke, his voice a little quieter than usual. "Did you mean what you said earlier?" He asked bluntly, referring to my declaration about wanting him to be my father.

"Yes..." I responded quietly.

Antonio's expression remained stoic, but his eyes softened momentarily at my straightforward answer. He took a few more steps towards me, his gaze fixed on my face like he was searching for something. "And why me?" He asked, his voice low. "I'm not exactly... the fatherly type, am I?"

"If you don't want it. It's fine," I replied.