Dangerous Desires

56

Antonio's expression tightened at my response, a hint of irritation flickering in his eyes. "I didn't say I didn't want it," he said gruffly, a bit of defensiveness slipping into his tone. "I just... I don't get why you'd choose me over someone more... nurturing, I guess."

"Then we never know,".

Antonio was silent for a moment, his eyes scanning my face again. There was a hint of vulnerability in his gaze now, mixed with his usual gruff demeanour. "I'm not going to be any good at this, you know," he admitted, his voice quieter than usual. "I don't..." he paused, struggling with words for the first time, "I don't have a clue how to be a dad."

"Then, we won't do the request," I said before going back to tidying up.

Antonio's expression tightened even further, the hint of vulnerability in his eyes replaced by a flash of irritation. "Hey, wait," he said gruffly, his voice carrying a hint of authority. He reached out, gently grasping my wrist to stop me from walking away. His touch was surprisingly gentle, a stark contrast to his brusque mannerisms.

He pulled me slightly so I was facing him again, his hand still on my wrist. He looked into my eyes, his gaze intense. "You don't back out of something just because it might be difficult," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "I said I'd do it, and I meant it. I'm just... I'm just warning you that I'm not going to be good at this. It's not exactly in my nature to be nurturing."

He released my wrist, taking a step back and shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He avoided my gaze for a moment, his expression a combination of determination and uncertainty. "I guess what I'm saying is... You might be better off with someone else," he muttered, his voice gruff but lacking his usual conviction. "Someone better suited to this whole family thing."

Yet even as he spoke the words, there was a hint of reluctance in his tone, a flicker of something deeper in his eyes. Despite his gruff exterior, he already cared about me and Tenebroso, more deeply than he probably would ever admit aloud.

He took a deep breath, bracing himself for my response. He was not used to being this vulnerable, this open about his feelings, and the whole conversation was making him uncomfortable. But there was also a hint of resolve in his expression as if he was silently promising to try, for me and Tenebroso.

Antonio watched as I walked away, his eyes lingering on my retreating form. His expression softened slightly, the hint of vulnerability returning to his gaze. He was torn between his usual aloofness and his growing affection for me. This whole situation was uncharted territory for him, and it left him feeling raw and exposed, in ways he wasn't used to.

"Damn it," he muttered under his breath, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets.

He stood there for a few more moments, processing the conversation and the whirlwind of emotions it had stirred up. He was used to being independent, to not relying on anyone, and this whole "being a dad" thing was a giant departure from that. Yet as he watched me disappear into another room, he felt a pang of... what was it? Affection? Concern? All he knew was that he wasn't ready to let go.

He let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair in a rare moment of agitation. This whole situation was messy and complicated. Also, it was making him question the boundaries he had so firmly established for himself. 

But he was also starting to realize the thought of not being a part of Tenebroso's and my lives, of not being there to provide the stability and support we both needed... It was a thought he found strangely difficult to stomach.

Mark entered the room a week later, dressed in his usual work attire. He smiled when he saw me and Tenebroso, a genuine warmth in his eyes. "Good morning," he greeted, his voice filled with affection. "You two look adorable."

"Thanks," I said quietly.

Mark picked up on my quieter-than-usual response, his smile shifting to a soft, concerned frown. He crossed the room to where I stood, his eyes searching my face. "You okay?" He asked, his voice gentle but tinged with worry. I nodded.

Mark studied my expression for a moment, his concern deepening slightly. He knew me well enough by now to realize when something was troubling me. He moved a bit closer, resting a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You sure? You seem a bit... off. You can talk to me, you know."

"The thing about Antonio before my father, it won't be happening. I understand and I will be just moving on with it," I replied.

Mark's expression softened even further as he listened to my response, his hand giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. He could sense the underlying hurt and disappointment in my words, even if I was trying to hide it.

He knew how much I had been looking forward to having Antonio be a part of my life, and the thought that it might not happen obviously caused me pain. But he also saw my determination to move on.

"If that's what you want, babe," he said quietly, his eyes searching mine, "I'll support you." He paused for a moment, his tone shifting to a mixture of understanding and reassurance. "But just know, you don't have to pretend like it doesn't affect you. You're allowed to feel upset, to be disappointed. I'm here for you, no matter what."

He gently tilted my chin up, making me look directly at him. "You still have me, and we still have Tenebroso. We're a family, remember? And I'm not going anywhere." He leaned forward then, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to my forehead. It was a gentle gesture of love and support, meant to convey the depth of his feelings for me, even in the face of this setback.