please, don't

Just the both of us

It's always been just the both of us.
Just me and him.
Since day one.
Since we were kids.
Since I started having memories.

Oh, and her.

It's always been just me, him, and her.

People called us bestest of friends.
Unbreakable.

And yeah, we were.

Cause from the age of four, and even 20 years later, the three of us are still together.

I love it.

My mother used to say that this friendship would hurt me at some point, but I never really listened to her cause what does she know about me?
What does she know about us?
What does she know about him?

But now, looking back to her words after all these years, I think she might be right.

"Oh, come on, dude, were you even listening?"

I snapped out of it when Jisung, my colleague, and my friend slightly shook my arm.
That's when I realised I was staring at the wall across from me.

"I'm really sorry, Ji, I didn't mean it. What were you saying?"

He gave me the look.

That look he always gives me when I say something that isn't really convincing.

Or, when I do or say something that concerns him.

And for whatever reason he gave it to me this time, I hated it.

I hated that look on his face.

"Hyunjin, what's going on? You've been zoning out more than usual today. Did something happen? Are you.... thinking about that thing again?"

Oh.

I shook my head quickly to assure him that it's not that.

"Ji, we talked about this. I don't think about killing myself anymore, and you don't have to refer to it as 'that thing', it doesn't really bother me anymore."

It really doesn't.

It's been years since it happened.

I'm better now.

He sighed softly before pulling his chair closer to mine and throwing his arm around my shoulders.

"If you say so, dude. Anyway, I was asking you about that friend of yours."

That friend of mine.

I wish he didn't call him that.

"Oh, you mean Felix?"

Jisung rolled his eyes.

He might not show it, but he's not Felix's biggest friend.

Not for a particular reason, but Jisung is jealous that I'm closer to Felix than to him.

And, maybe, there is another reason.

"Yeah, him. Did you meet him again? Last time, you were salty about not having enough time with him."

I cleared my throat.

I mean, he's exaggerating. I wasn't salty per.se

And I was drunk at that time.

"Yeah, he called me the other day asking to meet up. We're just both busy with work."

"Pff, yeah, right, work. And what about her? Will she be there?"

That, I didn't think of.

Did he also call her?

Should I expect the two of them?

Is this supposed to be a trio reunion?

"Ehm.....I'm not really sure. He didn't mention Ryu."

◇◇◇

I'm supposed to be meeting Felix today.

Or, more specifically, in two hours.

But I'm still in my room, stood in front of my open closet, looking at my clothes, not sure what to wear.

My palms were so sweaty, and my body was overheating again till the point I felt like I needed to shower again even though I just did.

But I couldn't help feeling nervous.

It's not like we've never hung out before.

But it's just been a while.

While I was busy looking through the pile of clothes, someone knocked on my door.

"What?"

I said without stopping what I was doing.

"Do you need help?"

It was Yeji.

She's not my sister by blood, but we've grown in the same house.

Her dad, my uncle, died when she was just six years old. So my dad decided to raise her as his own.

And well, she's not that bad.

I just don't like sharing what's mine.

"Why do you care?"

I heard her chuckle from behind the closed door.

"I don't, I just don't want you to embarrass yourself."

"I'm just meeting Felix. It's not that deep."

"Exactly, open that door, Hyunjin."