please, don't

No sad song for my broken heart

"Hyunjin-ah!"

I heard the familiar sweet voice call for my name, and for a moment, I was sure I was hallucinating.

Maybe it's signs of me finally losing my mind.

They do say love makes you crazy.

But then I heard it again.

And again.

And again.

And again, and this time, I heard someone crying.

So I turned over to look.

And they do say the curiosity kills the cat. So maybe I'm the cat.

Cause ther he was. Standing at the other end of the ally. In his wedding suite that had lost its jacket and tie. Panting and crying.

And just the sight of him had me cry again.

"What a-are you doing here!"

It wasn't a question. I didn't want to know what he was doing here. I didn't want him here.

"I'm here to get you!"

"Get back to your wedding, Felix! I fucking mean it!"

I turned back ignoring my crying heart.

I wanted to leave this place as fast as I can.

I wanted to leave him as fast as i can.

But he held my hand. He ran all the way so he could hold my hand to stop me.

And I let out an ugly loud sob.

"You know you don't mean it."

You're right. I fucking don't.

"What do you want from me?"

Suddenly, I was reminded of that night.

Cause he did it again.

He fucking dared to kiss me again.

And I fucking liked it.

Cause I pulled him closer, and I enjoyed every bit of it. Every bit of his sweet lips. Every bit of him.

And I cried even louder when he pulled away.

"Why - why do you do this to me? Do you not get it yet? Or do you just enjoy humiliating me? Do you enjoy playing with my feelings, Lee Felix?"

He dared to pull me closer.

He dared to put our foreheads together.

He dared to have a smile on his ridiculously attractive lips.

"I love you."

"Do you not care about anyone but y - what?"

I stared at him in shock. Cause it didn't sound real. It didn't feel real.

Maybe he was pulling some sick game on me or something.

He gave me one more kiss. And I wished I could stop time and freez it at the exact moment our lips collided.

"I said I love you. I love you, Hwang Hyunjin."

No, you don't.

You can't.

"But you -"

"If you just shut up for a second and let me talk, I'd really appreciate it."

So I sealed my lips. Cause I'd appreciate it too if he talked.

"Thank you. I really love you, don't ask me how or when it started cause I'm not sure I have an idea. But if you told me earlier you have feelings for me, we probably wouldn't come to this place. I didn't mean to hurt you or play with your feelings, I just had no idea you had them. When i kissed you that night.....it took me some time to accept the reason behind it, but I was jealous. I was so jealous of you letting San hit on you. And I think that's what made me realise that you weren't just a friend. Cause people hit on Ryujin all the time, and it bothers me sometimes, but I don't feel the rage I felt when it happened to you. I really really love you, Hyunjin."