Daylight - Paige Bueckers

but i love her

November 29th, 2023

Alex's POV:

The day dragged on in a haze. I sat in my room, staring at my phone, willing it to light up with a message from Paige. Nothing. Not a single text, call, or even a sign that she was thinking about me. The silence was deafening, and it felt like I was spiraling deeper into a hole I couldn't crawl out of.

I had messed up—big time. The moment Paige walked in on me talking to Kate, I saw the trust we'd built just crumble right in front of my eyes. I couldn't blame her for storming out, but the guilt was eating me alive. I'd replayed the scene in my head a thousand times, wishing I'd handled it differently, wishing I'd just told Paige about Kate's call before she found out like that. But now it was too late. I felt like I'd lost everything.

Naomi had tried to talk me down earlier, saying Paige just needed time and that maybe things could still be fixed. But how could I believe that? Paige hadn't reached out, and the longer the silence dragged on, the more convinced I became that it was over.

I needed a distraction—something to drown out the thoughts that wouldn't leave me alone. By the time evening rolled around, I couldn't take it anymore.

"I need to get out of here," I muttered, pacing around the living room. My roommates—Naomi, Cassie, Maggie, and Sarah—were lounging around, probably catching on to the storm brewing inside me. "Let's go to Ted's."

Naomi looked up from her phone, her brows furrowing. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Alex? You've been a wreck all day. Maybe staying in—"

"I can't stay here, Naomi!" I snapped, harsher than I intended. "I just need... I need to stop thinking about Paige for one night. Please."

She exchanged glances with the others, and after a moment, she sighed. "Okay. We'll go. But promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"Promise," I lied, already knowing I wasn't sure how the night would turn out.

The air outside Ted's was crisp, the type of autumn chill that cuts through your clothes and makes you shiver. But it felt good, waking me up a little, distracting me from the ache in my chest. Inside the bar, the usual crowd was packed in tight—students celebrating the weekend, talking, drinking, dancing.

I could feel the buzz in the air, the atmosphere charged with energy, and for a second, it almost distracted me. But then, the thought of Paige snuck back in, like it had been doing all day. Where was she? Was she still mad? Would she ever forgive me?

We found a booth in the corner, and I slid in next to Naomi, trying to keep up with the conversation going on around me. But I couldn't focus. The noise, the people—it all felt like background static to the chaos in my head.

I caught Naomi watching me closely, concern etched on her face. "You doing okay?" she asked quietly, leaning in so the others wouldn't hear.

"Yeah," I lied again, forcing a tight smile. "Just need a drink."

Cassie waved the bartender over, and before I knew it, I had a drink in my hand, then another. The alcohol helped at first, dulling the edge of the pain that had been gnawing at me all day. But it didn't take long for the sadness to morph into something heavier—something I couldn't shake off.