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I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, with her head resting on my chest. The room was dimly lit, just enough light sneaking in from the street outside. She hadn't given me a clear answer yet about where we stood, but I was hoping tonight would change that.
I could feel her breathing, slow and steady, and I knew she was deep in thought. My arm wrapped around her, and I gave her a light squeeze, hoping it would encourage her to talk.
"It feels good to be back here with you," she finally admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. I could hear the mix of relief and hesitation in her tone.
I smiled, though she couldn't see it. "finally doh," I replied. "I've missed this, missed us."
There was a pause before she spoke again, more seriously this time. "mi brother ever tell you whe him duh fi end up as a gunman?"
I shook my head. "No, he didn't go into detail. Just said he got caught up in things he couldn't back out of."
She took a deep breath and started explaining, her words heavy. "I was in a really abusive relationship back then. He was my first... everything. We were so young, and I thought I was in love. One day, we got into a stupid argument, and he put his hands on me for the first time. I was shocked. He apologized right after, swore it would never happen again, and I believed him. I thought he'd learn from his mistake and things would get better, but they didn't. They got worse."
I felt my jaw clench. I didn't know the full story, but hearing this stirred something fierce inside me. She continued, her voice breaking a little.
"He started being more abusive, both physically and mentally. It became impossible to get out. I tried so many times to leave, but he'd always find a way to pull me back in. I lost myself during that time. I felt... weak, like there was no way out."
I rubbed her shoulder gently, not saying anything, just letting her know I was there. She sighed deeply, as if releasing some of the weight she'd been carrying.
"Then, out of nowhere, he just stopped showing up. Stopped calling, stopped reaching out. I didn't care why; I was just happy to have my freedom back. I promised myself I'd never let a man get that close again, not in a way that would leave me feeling so weak and vulnerable."
I understood now. This wasn't just about us; this was about her past, her pain, and the walls she'd built to protect herself. "and yuh nah fi feel guilty boh day yuh have all right to ," I murmured.
She nodded slightly, her head still resting on my chest. "I didn't know why he disappeared... until my brother told me. He killed him," she said, voice trembling. "He risked his own freedom to give me back mine. I didn't know whether to be grateful or feel guilty. I hated myself for it."
I turned slightly, lifting her chin so she'd look at me. "Your brother did what he thought was right. Your parents aren't alive, and he felt it was his job to look out for you. He did the best he could to keep you safe."
