Survival Instinct // Namkook

chapter 10 - the darkness lingers

Jungkook couldn’t shake the feeling of the pistol pressing into his side. Even long after they had walked away from that moment in the tunnel, his mind wouldn’t let it go. The cold weight of it lingered like a shadow in his thoughts, refusing to disappear no matter how hard he tried to push it aside.

Every step through the tunnel, every glance at Namjoon, brought it back to the forefront of his mind. Namjoon was carrying a gun. A weapon. A silent reminder of how quickly the balance of power between them could shift.

Jungkook swallowed hard, his throat dry. The distant sounds in the tunnel had faded, replaced by the oppressive silence of their journey through the darkened underground. But the tension between them felt heavier now, thick and unspoken.

Finally, Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore. The thoughts had been swirling in his head for too long, building into a pressure that he needed to release. He glanced at Namjoon, his gaze falling briefly to the place where the pistol rested hidden beneath his jacket.

“Namjoon,” Jungkook started, his voice hesitant but firm enough to get the elder’s attention.

Namjoon didn’t turn to him, but his eyes flicked over, his brow raising slightly in acknowledgment. He kept walking, though, his pace steady and unaffected.

“That gun,” Jungkook continued, nerves tightening in his chest. “You’ve been carrying it this whole time?”

Namjoon’s response was immediate, clipped, and as cold as ever. “Yeah.”

Jungkook bit his lip, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. He had expected that answer, but it didn’t make it any easier. Namjoon had this way of saying so much with so little — and yet, somehow, it always left Jungkook feeling like he knew even less than before.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jungkook pressed. He knew he was walking a fine line, but he couldn’t stop himself now. “I mean, I’m not asking for much. Just… if you’re carrying something like that, shouldn’t I know? Especially if we’re working together.”

Namjoon shrugged as if the question barely mattered. “You don’t need to know.”

That answer hit Jungkook harder than he expected. Namjoon’s dismissiveness was almost maddening, as though the very idea of transparency between them wasn’t worth considering.

“But I’m supposed to do everything you say,” Jungkook shot back, his frustration slipping through. “Without questions, right? How am I supposed to trust you if you don’t tell me things like this?”

Namjoon finally stopped walking, turning to face Jungkook fully. His face was unreadable, those dark eyes piercing in the low light of the flashlight.

“I don’t need you to trust me,” Namjoon said, his voice as even as ever. “I need you to listen. That’s what we agreed on.”

Jungkook clenched his fists, trying to keep down the growing mix of emotions swirling inside him. He knew Namjoon was right — the deal had been simple, laid out in cold, unyielding terms. But the more time he spent around Namjoon, the more complicated things seemed to get.

He had more questions. So many more.

“What about… what you expect from me?” Jungkook asked, his voice quieter now, edging into uncertain territory. “You said I had to do what you say. No questions. No resistance. What does that even mean?”

Namjoon’s expression didn’t shift. “It means exactly what it sounds like.”

“Yeah, but… what do you actually want from me?” Jungkook pressed, his heart pounding faster now. “I mean, is it just survival stuff? Or… is there more?”

For the first time, Jungkook felt a flicker of uncertainty in his own words. He was moving on dangerous ground, but he couldn’t help it. His mind had already taken him down a path he wasn’t sure he could come back from.

The thought had crossed his mind more than once — the uncomfortable possibility that maybe Namjoon had something else in mind when they made the deal. Maybe that vague agreement about “doing everything he said” wasn’t just about scavenging or survival.

Jungkook’s thoughts spiraled, a knot tightening in his stomach as a new, uncomfortable possibility started taking shape. Namjoon was powerful, intimidating, and commanding. But he had also shown a strange softness at times, like when he’d pulled him closer in the tunnel. What if… what if there was something Namjoon wasn’t saying? Something he wanted but wasn’t asking for?

Sexual favors? Jungkook’s mind flashed with the thought, and a wave of heat crawled up his neck. He felt ridiculous even thinking it, but the ambiguity of their agreement — the vagueness of what Namjoon expected from him — made him wonder.

But asking that outright? Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to form the words. It felt too raw, too vulnerable, and the potential rejection — or worse, confirmation — scared him more than anything.

Namjoon’s gaze didn’t waver, and he didn’t seem to be reading too deeply into Jungkook’s discomfort. Instead, he gave the same cold, pragmatic answer he always did. “I told you what I want. You follow my orders. I keep you safe.”

Jungkook felt his heart race, a part of him wanting to ask more, to push for clarity, but he held back. Namjoon wasn’t going to spell it out. Not in the way Jungkook wanted. And maybe that was for the best.

But the uncertainty gnawed at him, refusing to let go. The pistol, the power imbalance, the coldness in Namjoon’s voice — all of it left Jungkook feeling like he was teetering on the edge of something dangerous.

He forced a shaky breath, his mind still swirling with doubt, fear, and a strange undercurrent of something else he couldn’t quite name. Whatever Namjoon wanted from him, he would have to figure it out as they went. There were no clear answers here. Only shadows.

And in the darkness of the tunnel, Jungkook was beginning to wonder if he was already too deep to ever find his way out.