Survival Instinct // Namkook

chapter 43 - Jung Hoseok

J-Hope sat quietly, absorbing the conversation unfolding before him. He couldn’t help but feel surprised at how much Namjoon was sharing. In the short time he had known him, Namjoon had been mostly reserved, keeping his words short and to the point. But now, he was speaking freely, opening up about his past, his complicated relationship with Suga and the darkness that came with survival.

Hoseok felt a small tug of curiosity. Maybe it was the city, the sense of shelter and safety they hadn’t had in so long. It seemed like being in this place, even with all its harsh realities, was loosening the walls around Namjoon’s heart. He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but there was a vulnerability in the way Namjoon talked today that Hoseok hadn’t expected to see.

They continued talking in low tones, Jungkook asking more questions while Namjoon answered with a sense of calmness that was almost eerie given the subject matter. Hoseok glanced between them, feeling a warmth he hadn’t experienced in what felt like forever. He had always been on edge, never letting his guard down. But here, with these two, something was shifting. Something he couldn’t quite put into words. It felt... safe.

Hoseok exhaled softly, feeling the tension in his chest loosen slightly. He had been running for so long, hiding parts of himself, even his name. But sitting here with Namjoon and Jungkook, the weight of his false identity felt unnecessary, like a mask he didn’t need anymore.

Clearing his throat softly, Hoseok finally found the courage to speak. "I... I guess now’s a good time to come clean about something," he began, his voice low but steady. Both Namjoon and Jungkook turned their attention to him, curious.

Hoseok smiled a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "My name isn’t actually J-Hope."

Jungkook raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Wait, what!?"

A low chuckle grabs his attention as he looks at Namjoon. "You really thought that's his real name??" he mutters amused, making Hoseok chuckle himself.

"Hey! I thought maybe he is a foreigner! I'm not judging anyone..." Jungkook mumbles his cheeks glowing red.

"Well no, I made it up. The 'J' stands for Jung. My real name is Jung Hoseok." He explains, actually grateful for the small misunderstanding as it lightened the mood. "I made up 'J-Hope' when everything started falling apart. It was... a way to distance myself from who I used to be. A way to cope, I guess."

Namjoon tilted his head, his eyes narrowing slightly in thought. "Why 'Hope'?"

Hoseok chuckled lightly, though there was a sadness behind it. "I wanted to hold on to something, you know? Even in a world as messed up as this, I figured there had to be hope somewhere. I wanted to remind myself that things could get better. That we could still find some good in all this chaos."

The room fell quiet again as Hoseok's words settled between them. Jungkook looked thoughtful, his expression softening. Namjoon simply nodded, understanding the weight behind the name.

"I needed to become someone else," Hoseok continued, his voice quieter now. "The old me... I wasn’t strong enough to survive back then. But J-Hope? He could. I could pretend to be someone who wasn’t afraid all the time. Someone who could still smile, even when everything was falling apart."

Namjoon watched him closely, a deep understanding in his eyes. "It's not easy, letting go of who you were," he said softly. "But maybe... maybe you don’t have to anymore. We’re not just surviving now. We have something here. Maybe it’s time to stop running."

Hoseok’s chest tightened at Namjoon’s words. He had been running for so long, from his past, from the person he used to be. But here, with Namjoon and Jungkook, maybe he didn’t have to run anymore.

"Maybe you’re right," Hoseok said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe it’s time to stop pretending."

For the first time in a long while, Hoseok felt a flicker of something in his chest. Not fear, not dread, but something closer to hope—the kind of hope he had been searching for all along.

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What!? His real name is not J-Hope!??

w⁠(⁠°⁠ｏ⁠°⁠)⁠w