Survival Instinct // Namkook

chapter 34 - Yoongi's point of view

Yoongi—Suga, as everyone called him now—paced the cracked floors of his makeshift headquarters, feeling like his insides were on fire. His fists were clenched so tightly his knuckles were white, and his jaw was locked in a permanent scowl. Fury, cold and unforgiving, coursed through his veins. He’d been like this all morning, the encounter with Namjoon replaying over and over in his mind, haunting him, twisting his gut in ways he didn’t want to admit.

He should’ve been over this by now, over the past. But no matter how many years had passed, no matter how much distance he’d tried to put between himself and his old life, one glimpse of Namjoon—one conversation with the man he used to call his best friend—had undone it all. His chest tightened every time he thought about it.

Namjoon, here, in his city.

Alive.

And all Suga had done was threaten him, treat him like any other trespasser...

He growled under his breath, kicking a broken chair out of his way. The gang members around him flinched, casting wary glances in his direction, afraid to speak. They knew better than to approach him when he was like this, seething with barely contained rage.

But Suga was always angry. That was nothing new. His temper had become infamous, especially after the world had gone to hell. Anger had kept him alive, had driven him to take control of this city, to build an empire out of the rubble. Anger had kept him moving forward when everything else had fallen apart.

But this wasn’t like his usual anger. This was something deeper, something far more dangerous. It wasn’t just fury at the world, at the gangs, at the endless fight for survival. No, this was personal. This was anger that had been festering for years, buried deep beneath the surface, and now it had been dragged back into the light because of Namjoon.

Namjoon, the only person who ever really knew him.

The thought made Suga’s stomach churn. He threw a punch at the nearest gang member, the poor kid crumpling to the ground with a grunt. He didn’t care. They all knew to stay out of his way, but today he needed a target. Someone, anyone, to take the brunt of this anger that was tearing him apart.

But even as he lashed out, he couldn’t stop the memories from clawing their way to the surface. He hadn’t thought about those days in so long, hadn’t allowed himself to. But now they were everywhere, filling his mind, making it impossible to focus on anything else.

Namjoon had been everything to him once. A brother. His closest friend. They’d been through hell together, survived the early days of the apocalypse by each other’s side, holding on to whatever scraps of hope they could find. Namjoon had always been the one with the plans, with the determination to keep them going, even when things got bleak.

And Suga had followed him, trusted him. He had been so sure they’d make it through, as long as they had each other.

But then everything had gone wrong. His family- his little brother got ill. And Suga had started slipping, started losing control. He remembered the desperation, the hunger. The things they had to do to survive. Stealing. Fighting. Killing. The gang they’d joined had offered them safety, but it had come with a price—a price Suga had been willing to pay, until the boss had come after him for stealing food for his family.

And Namjoon… Namjoon had saved him. Killed the boss to protect him. But that act had destroyed everything.

Suga had watched Namjoon flee, had seen him run for his life as the gang came down on him, and Suga had done nothing. He couldn’t. His family was a priority back then and without Namjoon, he hadn’t cared enough to fight back.

He’d let Namjoon go, and after that, they’d lost each other.

Years had passed, and Suga had become a different person—with each friend and family member that passed he became more hardened, ruthless, determined to never need anyone again.

So why did it feel like his chest was being ripped open now? Why was he so furious? At Namjoon? At himself?

Suga stopped pacing, glaring at the bloodied gang member at his feet. His fists were shaking, and he knew it wasn’t just from the fight. He was angry at everything. At the fact that Namjoon was alive, at the fact that he wasn’t dead like everyone else Suga had ever cared about. Why was Namjoon still here, while his family was gone?

But underneath all that anger, there was something else. Something he didn’t want to acknowledge. A warmth, a flicker of relief, knowing that Namjoon had survived, that he hadn’t been swallowed by the chaos like so many others.

That flicker only made him angrier.

Suga stormed across the room, shoving aside another gang member. “You,” he snapped, pointing at one of his lieutenants, “go find him. Namjoon. Bring him back... Now!"

The man nodded quickly, scrambling to his feet and rushing out of the room, not daring to argue.

Suga’s mind was racing. What the hell was he going to do when Namjoon came back? Yell at him some more? Demand answers? He didn’t even know.
All he knew was that he couldn’t let Namjoon slip away again. Not without getting something out of him, not without figuring out why this encounter was messing with his head so much.

But for now, he needed to let off more steam.

Without a word, he made his way downstairs to the prison, his steps echoing ominously in the dimly lit hall. The guards stationed there tensed as he approached, but they didn’t stop him. They knew better than to interfere when Suga was in one of these moods. He scanned the rows of cells, eyes narrowing as he picked out his next victim—a lowlife who had crossed the wrong people, probably not even worth the effort. But Suga didn’t care. He just needed an outlet for the rage that was boiling inside him.

The man in the cell backed away as Suga unlocked the door, fear flashing in his eyes. But Suga didn’t stop, didn’t hesitate. He grabbed the man by the collar, dragging him out of the cell and throwing him to the ground.

As he threw the first punch, all Suga could see was Namjoon’s face. Not the Namjoon of now, but the Namjoon of the past—the boy who had been his best friend, his brother. The boy who had saved his life. The boy who had disappeared and left him alone in this hell.

The boy who was now a man, standing in his city, and Suga had no idea what to do about it.

Maybe he was angry at Namjoon.
Maybe he was angry at himself.

But either way, the rage wasn’t going away.

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Poor baby feeling bad. (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ
But I'm sure they will figure things out <3