Survival Instinct // Namkook

chapter 46 - the mechanics

While J-Hope was off at the farm, and Suga had pulled Namjoon away for a mysterious private conversations, Jungkook found himself alone in their shared room. He sat on the edge of the mattress, hands fidgeting with the fabric of his jacket, his eyes flickering between the door and the empty space beside him. The absence of Namjoon gnawed at him, a familiar knot of anxiety tightening in his chest. He hated being alone.

Namjoon had been his anchor, his protector the past few weeks. He'd grown so used to him, so attached—without him nearby, it felt like the world could spin out of control at any moment.

But as he sat there, drowning in his thoughts, something new started creeping in—the realization that he couldn’t rely on Namjoon forever. He had to start standing on his own two feet, even if it terrified him.

With a deep breath, Jungkook made a decision. He couldn’t just sit there waiting for Namjoon to return. He needed to find something to occupy his mind, something to keep the anxiety at bay.

Cars?

The mechanics had fascinated him when Suga had shown them around the other day. He didn’t know much about fixing cars, he was more of a car owner or driver, but there was something about the process that intrigued him—machines being brought back to life in a world that had fallen apart.

Jungkook sighed, stood up, slipped out of the room and headed outside. The sunlight hit his face as he walked through the streets, his heart pounding with every step. He was doing this. Alone.

The sound of clanging metal and murmured conversations greeted him as he approached the makeshift mechanic shop. Several workers were hunched over cars in various states of disrepair, some tinkering with engines, others welding pieces back together. Jungkook hesitated at the entrance, watching them with wide eyes, unsure if he should interrupt. His heart raced with nerves, but he reminded himself that this was important—he needed to do this for himself. To prove to himself he didn't have to realy on anyone. Yes, he could be without Namjoon. He wasn't dependent on him.

He lingered near the edge, hands shoved into his pockets, observing the workers as they moved with practiced precision. There was a rhythm to their movements, an unspoken understanding between them as they worked. He was fascinated, but also intimidated. He didn’t know if he had the guts to ask to join in, but just being there, watching, was a step forward.

After a while, one of the workers—a grizzled older man with grease-stained hands—glanced up and noticed Jungkook standing there. He raised an eyebrow and wiped his hands on a rag before approaching him.

“You need something, kid?” the man asked, his voice gruff but not unkind.

Jungkook swallowed hard, nerves dancing in his stomach. “Uh… no, I mean—yeah, kind of. I was just watching. I like cars,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "You're a mechanic?" The old man asked.

“What? No- no...I don’t really know anything about fixing cars, but I thought… maybe I could help? If you don’t mind.” feeling incredibly awkward Jungkook just wanted to turn around and run away.

The man gave him a once-over, eyes narrowing thoughtfully before he grunted. “You don’t know anything about fixing cars, nothing?”

Jungkook shook his head, feeling so embarrassed and dumb just standing here. “Nothing.”

The man let out a short laugh. “Well, we all start somewhere. You wanna learn? Come here.” He motioned for Jungkook to follow him, leading him over to one of the cars they were working on. “I’ll show you the basics. Just don’t touch anything you don’t understand, alright?”

Relief flooded through Jungkook as he nodded eagerly. “Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

For the next hour or so, Jungkook listened carefully as the man explained the basics of engine parts, how things fit together, and what they were trying to fix on the current vehicle. It wasn’t long before Jungkook started asking questions—tentative at first, but then more confidently as he got a feel for the process. He found himself drawn in by the intricacy of it all, how even the smallest component could make or break the whole system.

By the time the sun was starting to dip lower in the sky, Jungkook realized something. He hadn’t thought about Namjoon in hours. He hadn’t been plagued by the anxiety that usually followed him when he was alone. Instead, he’d been immersed in something he enjoyed—something that made him feel useful.

As the workers began packing up for the day, Jungkook lingered for a moment, feeling lighter than he had in a long time. Maybe he wasn’t as helpless as he thought. Maybe there was a future for him that wasn’t just about survival, but about finding things he loved, things that made him feel whole.

“Hey, kid,” the mechanic called as he started locking up. “You did good today. Come back tomorrow if you want to learn more.”

Jungkook smiled, a small but genuine grin spreading across his face. “I will. Thanks.”

With that, he turned and started walking back to the main building, a quiet sense of pride blooming in his chest. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he was growing—like he was becoming someone capable of standing on his own.

But as he rounded the corner, his thoughts drifted back to Namjoon. Maybe the elder would be proud of him too, if he told him?

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