Survival Instinct // Namkook

chapter 5 - Namjoon's pov

The storm raged outside, its fury a constant roar that rattled the old building’s bones. Namjoon sat in his usual spot, his back against the wall, eyes fixed on the chaotic darkness beyond the old buildings window. The rain slashed against the glass, and the wind’s howl seemed to pierce through the concrete walls. Inside, the chill was nearly as biting as the storm itself.

Namjoon had lived through a lot in his life, but the chill in this room was something new. It seeped into his bones, making the concrete floor feel like a frozen wasteland. His own jacket had been discarded beside him, more of a personal choice than a need for warmth. He was used to roughing it, but he couldn’t ignore the way the cold seemed to gnaw at him, too.

He glanced over at Jungkook, who was huddled in the corner. The kid was clearly suffering, shaking uncontrollably despite the thin blankets they had. Namjoon could see him trembling, each shiver a reminder of how vulnerable Jungkook was. The sight tugged at something deep within him, a sensation he had tried hard to bury.

It wasn’t the first time he had seen someone so scared and helpless. In the early days of the apocalypse, he’d watched his younger brother—so much like Jungkook in his innocence and fear—struggle to survive. His brother had been a mirror image of Jungkook, wide-eyed and overwhelmed by the chaos. Namjoon had failed to protect him, a wound that had never healed. The guilt and grief were his constant companions, and now, seeing Jungkook brought those old scars to the surface.

Namjoon’s attention snapped back to the present when he noticed Jungkook’s shivering had grown worse. The kid’s attempts to make himself smaller, the way he pressed his body into the corner of the room, were a stark reminder of just how much Jungkook was suffering. Namjoon’s jaw tightened. He had made it a point to distance himself from these kinds of emotions, to stay hardened and unfeeling, but it was a losing battle tonight.

He watched as Jungkook’s breath came out in visible puffs, and the kid seemed to be struggling against the cold. For a moment, Namjoon was tempted to ignore it, to let Jungkook fend for himself as he had done with everyone else. But the thought of his brother, the memory of his own failed attempts to provide comfort, made the decision for him. "You're cold." he stated. Jungkook looking over at him with his big eyes was all he needed as an answer.

Namjoon’s hand reached out for his worn leather jacket. It had been his shield against the elements for a long time. Now, it would serve Jungkook another purpose. He tossed it over to Jungkook with a swift motion, trying to mask the softness in his own heart with his usual gruff demeanor.

“Here,” he said, his voice clipped and cold, though it was laced with an edge of reluctant care. “Put this on.”

Jungkook’s startled look, the way his eyes widened in surprise, only made Namjoon’s chest tighten further. He saw the hesitant reach, the gratitude that was barely contained behind the kid’s attempt to be brave. It was hard for Namjoon to keep his own feelings in check, to ignore the sympathy that came with seeing someone so close to the one he had lost.

He tried to focus on something else, anything else, to maintain his carefully constructed facade. But his eyes couldn’t help but drift back to Jungkook, now wrapped in the jacket, looking slightly more at ease. Namjoon’s heart was a tangle of conflicting emotions—fear, guilt, and a reluctant warmth that he wasn’t ready to admit to himself.

When Jungkook tried to strike up a conversation today, Namjoon’s answers were short and guarded. He wasn’t used to talking about himself, wasn’t used to opening up. The idea of letting anyone see beneath his tough exterior was something he had guarded against fiercely, and yet, here he was, sharing more than he intended.

Namjoon looked out the window again. His mind was full of thoughts, he knew he wasn't gonna sleep anytime soon with his mind occupied like that. But he didn't mind, he didn't need much sleep anyway if all he had done foday was sit at this wall, so he thought about the day once more.

Jungkook’s attempts to fill the silence with stories about his past were met with Namjoon’s half-hearted responses. The kid’s stories about his family, his dreams, and his regrets were a stark contrast to Namjoon’s own silence.

It all started making sense when Jungkook shared he was staying at a sanctuary village. The kid is extremely odd given the circumstances. Namjoon hasn't seen anyone this open, honest and vulnerable for a long time. Jungkook was shielded from thie horrors of this world for  a longer time, hasn't yet learned to survive in it.

The more Jungkook spoke, the more Namjoon found himself remembering his own past—his brother’s laughter, their shared dreams, and the promise he had made to protect him. Jungkook’s words cut through the layers of armor Namjoon had built, revealing the raw vulnerability he had long tried to suppress. That wasn't good at all. Namjoon definitely needed to get his shit together if he wanted to keep some distance between them.

Despite his best efforts, Namjoon was slowly coming to terms with the fact that Jungkook was affecting him. The kid was a constant reminder of what he had lost and what he had failed to protect. The storm outside seemed to mirror the storm within him—an inner conflict between the hardened shell he had built and the flickers of compassion he was struggling to keep at bay.

On the other hand –he wasn’t ready to admit it, but the kid’s presence was a small solace in the midst of the chaos—a reminder that even in the darkest times, there was still a glimmer of humanity to be found.