Bloody wings

Chapter : 10

After a very tiring few days we all plan to go to an amusement park to chill and enjoy , it was quite close to the collage also we go their , me and zain literally jump into every ride we see while others were hesitating but we still forced them to join us in every ride weather it was roller costers or other thrilling rides , the most fun part was the go karting section where we all raced each other , fighting turn to turn to overtake and win and in the end i ended up winning it ,and then we went a had ice creams and then again went for rides sara was getting scared of heighted rides and i was pushing her to enjoy it , it was a wholesome moment seeing her scream in fear and me screaming in joy. Then we enjoy the day and the plan for everyone was to go home but me i had other plans.

 I call sara and ask you have time and she says yeah and then we go to our mountain spot as it was almost evening and by the time we would make it their it would be night as well and then we reached their and sat just looking at the city while her head is resting on my shoulder her hands are tangled together with my hands and then i tell her alot has changed since i have joined collage , i used to be a very quite unspoken silent person in my whole school life ,hardly had any friends real friends like rahul zain all of us , during my school days my 12th everytime i saw people in friend groups enjoys doing stuff making their life fun and participating in functions , enjoying it , clicking photos sharing it with everyone , while i used to be just either sitting in a corner or be just standing alone its not that i didnt have people to talk to but , it never felt like their really was any connection with them it felt like they never wanted to talk to me and were just being kind , every day in school i used to just sit separately from everyone just to see who will come and sit near me just to know who is my friend but no one ever did and it always was just me sitting silently in a corner , i i i just didnt knew how to talk to people or make friends because from my childhood i have had problems making friends and in 12th it was all so complex for me like everyone already had their group of friends and me getting involved in it just seemed as a disturbance i always felt like who so ever i am talking with i am just wasting their time and it was all so hopeless situation for me , i used to be just sitting silently seeing others give friendship bands to others click pictures , and even while going back home everyone is first just stopping talking to their friends before going home and i used to just see them and go home silently.

 Their was one girl and i used to talk to her more like chat with her because due to all this school used to seem very boring and i used to rarely go to school so i used to just chat with her she seemed like the most kind person out of everyone we used to talk about studies , exams and many other stuff we would always be talking and i had started to think maybe i finally got a friend i would enjoy talking to her about random stuff and sometimes it made me seem stupid but honestly i really didnt even knew how to talk to a person i would try to help her genuinely every time but every time i saw her in school and thought to talk to her but she would walk past me like i was a Stanger to her i tried few times pushing myself to talk to her in person in school but it never went well and after being in a situation where you haven't talked properly and i had developed a type of problem where i would always fear starting to talk or just even normally saying hi hello or waving hand to say it all felt so difficult for me it was like something inside was stopping me from doing it their was a fear and its natural for me because when days go by and no has even heard your voice and its normal because , no one knew me in the school i was like a wandering ghost whom everyone saw but no one knew , people used to make fun of me saying if i died one day no one cares because who even know me, to care , and once i realized its no use chatting with a person who ignores your existence only is just point less i could see sometimes she would look at me i would look at her but we would not talk tho i always wanted to but idk i just couldn't , couldn't even talk to the only person i thought was my friend idk it maybe my fault she might think i am being egoist or just ignoring her but everytime i wanted to talk to her but just couldn't or it might be the other way around which dont think so i would have been because she was a good person at least according to me but idk maybe if would have talked more i could say for certain but i dont think so she would just ignore me and she might just reply to your message just to remove the notification maybe and nothing will change in her life if i didn't text her or talk to her at least thats what she made it all seem like and so one day i stopped texting her and as everyday passed by i used to think maybe its just my overthinking and things aren't that bad i should text her and i used to think if things are not bad her text will come anyways but the text never came and we stopped talking ,during my 12th that one person was my only hope for a real actual friendship at least but things never go how they seem to her maybe i wasnt even a friend forget about something else.

She made it seem like she just didn't care she had other friends they would all click pictures at functions enjoy in school break hours and even sit and talk after school too and she looked good and happy with them so i just let it all go and never caused troubled her with my boring messages again and again went back to my lonely silent colorless life but idk some where inside even i wanted to experience all of it all the fun with friends , all the talks in the groups , the trolling the pranks the the fun the fun of life , clicking photos in functions with friends , but still i used to motivate myself thinking my collage life will change all this all this will change and i might actually get a life , get friends , get to enjoy, get a person like you to whom i would be finally able to say it all and it all did happen i have to say i got really lucky maybe i got friends and i got to enjoy i got to experience what real fun of friends , groups is and finally i got you a person whom i can tell all this , and sara is listening to all of it and she says their is nothing you can do to change what has happened but i am proud of how much changes you have brought in your life can try your best to preserve what you have , so you never end up in such situation again and i say surly i will , i would never want to go back to my old silent days and then we look the sky and sit their for a while and leave.