𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

Exile

Title from a T-Swizzle song (Exile)

This idea has been in my head for probably like a month but I just haven't sat down and written it yet. Here I am now!

Idk if this is angsty or what, really. I'm just listening to the lyrics and writing whatever comes to mind.

TW: mentions of self harm, mentions of attempted suicide

—

CATO:

I can see you standing, honey

With his arms around your body

Laughin', but the jokes not funny at all

I see her from the other side of the fire. She's sitting next to Jess Stratford, notorious bad boy. He's known for doing things to girls that they don't want to do. So why the hell is his arm wrapped around Clove's waist? My Clove!

My hand tightens into a fist as I watch her laugh. I know it's a fake laugh. His joke wasn't funny at all. She just wants to make me mad. I didn't mean for things to happen the way they did. I really didn't. I was going through such a hard time. Couldn't she see that?! But no matter how mad I am, I still want her back.

(A/N: When I got this idea, I imagined this happening at a bonfire on the beach. Don't know why but I did.)

And it took you five whole minutes

To pack us up and leave me with it

Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

Five minutes. It took her roughly five whole minutes to pack her things and leave. She didn't even listen to me. Did she even care?! Why didn't she listen to me?!

"Clove!" I shouted, standing in the hall. But it was no use. She was already leaving with her suitcase, wiping her tears. She should've just listened to me.

I cried, too. I cried and cried and cried. We had so much love in this hall. Our cabin hall. The hall in the cabin we went to every summer together. Even before we were a thing. All the dance parties, stupid jokes, play fighting, chasing each other, all gone.

I think I've seen this film before

And I didn't like the ending

I've seen this film before. She walked out on me before. We were done. That was that. She came back, but now she's done it again.

Why didn't she listen?!

I didn't like the ending. She was gone. She was gone for a year. Why did she come back just so she could leave again? Why?! WHY DIDN'T SHE LISTEN?!

You're not my homeland anymore

So what am I defending now

She's not mine anymore. She's not my homeland anymore. She was. Then she wasn't. What am I even defending now? She's obviously in love with this Elvis Presley wannabe. He's a dick, and she knows it!

You were my town

She was my town. She was my home. She was my sanctuary. She was there for me. She helped me stop cutting. She helped me get over the divorce. She helped me get over the depression. And now I'm falling back into it again.

I remember feeding each other cherries at the diner, sharing milkshakes, piggyback rides at the pool, kissing under the moonlight, stargazing, listening to her tell me all about the different constellations, trying to make brownies and failing, chasing each other in the grass and laughing as we fell down and got the wind knocked out of ourselves. I remember getting drunk in the cabin and dancing on the tables, watching stupid movies, throwing popcorn at each other, trying to throw popcorn in each other's mouth, driving through town and looking at all the trees. I remember her lying on my chest as we both read our books.