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Today was the first meet of the official NCAA Track season...
And I wasn't running.
I wasn't running.
All the work I put in for the pre-season and I still wasn't good enough for collegiate Track.
"It's your freshman year, no one runs their freshman year."
"Hey at least your still a swinger, you could possibly still run."
"You'll eventually get on that track."
Kari's and Bre's words echo in my brain but I can't seem to find comfort in any of them. I watch each runner on the team anxiously, silently hoping that one of them pulls something or injures themselves someway somehow. Which was a shitty thing to wish for, but that was the only way I'd be running today. The meet was halfway over anyways, I don't know what I was holding out hope for. Bre wasn't running today either but she wasn't as down as I was about it. She was here on a track scholarship but had no interest in taking it past the collegiate level. Kari ran 3 events today. The 400m hurdles, 4x400m relay, and he did High Jump. Kendra ran 3 events too. I sighed accepting that I wasn't running today and placed my Airpods in my ear to drown out the noise. All the girls here were running 54's and high 53's and here I was still in the 56 zone, why would coach put me in.
iMessage
Ma Dukes🤎
It's just the beginning of the season Nala. You will get back on that track eventually. There is no need for you to beat yourself up over this. Everybody starts somewhere.
I hearted my mom's message and placed my phone on Do Not Disturb. Her words did make me feel a little better. She always knew what to say.
"Are you still over here sulking?" Kari asked as he took a seat beside me
"I'm not sulking." I whined "I'm just in my feelings."
"Same shit, you need to stop. You could've been down there warming up and running drills during this meet but you up here pouting." He said as he searched for his water
"There's no point of me warming up. I'm not running, why would I exhaust any energy on drills."
"To benefit you in the end Nala, you could've gotten some form of a workout in on the turf, instead you spent your whole day up here watching everybody else. How has that helped you get closer to the Olympics?"
Ugh I hated that he was right.
"You're so annoying." I groaned
Kari was right but wasn't nobody trying to hear that right now. Let me be in my feelings.
"You cute when you pout." Kari said wrapping his arm around me
"Ew get off of me you're sweaty." I pushed him playfully giggling
