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𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 𝕤𝕚𝕩

{ riley's version }

_

I got off the stage, smiling at all the people that were cheering but I could feel my throat starting to close. I needed to get out. Not once in my life had I ever experienced stage fright but I didn't think that's what this was. It felt more like a panic attack. Those I had. I knew those. And this was that.

I hoped I lost Lando in the crowd as I weaved through the crowd, toward the door. I could feel the cool night air and I craved it, pushing out the door and stumbling toward the curb. I sat down and thanked whatever god there was that it was cold against my legs as I tired to catch my breath.

My mind was spinning. I liked Lando. The one thing I told myself before I came was that I would focus on work. It was my way to get passed everything. I was starting fresh, I was chasing a dream. I was not here to fall for a pretty boy who made me feel so special.

I groaned, leaning my head back so the tears pushing against my eyes didn't fall. Crying would be so lame. Having feelings wasn't something I should be breaking down over but here I was.

"Riley...?"

I looked up and saw Oscar standing a few feet away. Part of me broke and I let out a broken laugh.

"Hi Osc."

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head and he came to sit down next to me. I leaned my head against his shoulder as his arm came to rest around my shoulder. He lightly squeezed my arm as we both sat down together in silence for a second. I started to feel like I could breathe again.

"Osc?"

"Hm?"

"I like Lando."

I could hear him snort and I pulled back a little to look at him. There was a smile on his face as he looked down at me. It wasn't pity or any kind of malice. He was just there. Like he knew exactly what I was going to say.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Shove it down?"

He snorted and shook his head. "Riley, no."

"Get over it?"

He shook his head, taking my shoulders in his hands to make me look at him. "Or maybe you can try to figure out if he likes you too."

I shook my head. "No, no. No way. He wouldn't, he couldn't. I am.. I'm not-"

"Riley."

"Yeah, okay. I get it."

"Good." He shook my shoulders lightly that caused both of us to laugh. "Stay out here?"

"Just for a bit longer."

He nodded and we went back to sitting the way we had been. My shoulder resting against his shoulder and his arm against my shoulders. It was nice. To just have a friend here with me as I wrestled with the idea of it all. I was stuck on the idea of us being together. It would be nice but there was no way it could be real. Feelings could be dealt with.