*Jimin’s POV*
The sound of video game buttons clicking filled my living room. Tae and I were sitting side by side on the couch, our focus entirely on the screen as we played. It was one of those afternoons where nothing seemed out of the ordinary—until Nara came in, her presence disrupting the stillness.
"Hi, guys!" she greeted, her voice light and cheerful.
"Hi, Nara!" I responded without taking my eyes off the game.
Tae, however, went completely silent, the controller slipping slightly in his grip. I could feel the tension building in him as soon as Nara stepped inside, but it wasn’t because of her.
Tae in his diary: *I started getting nervous when he came. Jungkook. He walked in behind her, and I could feel his eyes on me, like he was studying me or trying to figure something out. And I couldn’t stop staring at him either.*
Nara walked toward us, a small smile playing on her lips. “Actually, I’m going shopping with my girlfriends, and I can’t take Jungkook with me. So, I’ll leave him here with you guys. You can play games together.”
Tae’s voice came out shaky, barely audible. “Wait—” he began, but Nara had already turned toward the door, waving them off.
“Okay, bye!” she called, leaving without a second thought.
Jungkook stood awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “So, what are you guys playing?” he asked.
“Mario Kart,” I said, glancing over at him.
Jungkook’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I love it. Can I try?”
“Sure, come on,” I said, handing him a controller.
Tae in his diary: *The way he smiled at that moment… It caught me off guard. And then, when he started playing, I couldn’t believe how good he was at it. I couldn’t focus. I was just watching him the whole time.*
I could tell that Tae was barely paying attention to the game. His gaze kept drifting toward Jungkook, admiration flickering in his eyes. He thought he was being subtle, but I had known Tae long enough to see right through him.
As the game went on, the initial awkwardness between us faded. The three of us started talking casually, and eventually, the tension melted away. We laughed, we shared stories, and for the first time, I saw Jungkook open up a little.
Tae in his diary: *He was talking about his interests—drawing, painting, singing, things that made him come alive. His whole face lit up when he spoke, and I couldn’t look away. There’s something about people when they talk about what they love, something magnetic. I was feeling it.*
After a while, Jungkook said his goodbyes and left, leaving just me and Tae in the quiet room. I had been waiting for this moment, waiting until Jungkook was gone to bring up something that had been sitting in my chest for a long time.
I turned to Tae, my heart racing. “Tae.”
“Yes, Chim?” He put down his controller and looked at me with concern.
“I have… a question. A doubt, actually,” I said, my voice hesitating as if the words themselves weighed too much.
Tae frowned slightly, nodding. “Go ahead.”
I felt my stomach twist in knots, unsure of how to ask, unsure if I even wanted to hear the answer. “Do you think it’s normal for a boy to like… another boy?”
Tae in his diary: *When he asked me that, I felt chills. I had been going through something similar myself, but I hadn’t said it out loud yet. A boy liking another boy didn’t seem strange to me—it was how I had been feeling. But when Jimin asked, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was talking about himself.*
Tae didn’t flinch. His expression softened, and he nodded firmly. “Yeah, Chim. It’s totally normal.”
I swallowed hard, my mouth dry. “Why do you ask? Is this about you?” Tae leaned closer, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with concern. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
My heart pounded in my chest as I hesitated. Part of me wanted to spill everything, to tell him everything I’d been feeling. “It’s nothing… it’s just—lately, I’ve been feeling weird. I’ve had dreams, about guys. And when I look around, I realize I don’t feel the same way about girls. I don’t feel attracted to them, no matter how hard I try. I mostly crush on male K-pop idols, and at school, I never get any romantic feelings for the girls who flirt with me. I’ve even dated a few, but… it just doesn’t feel right.”
Tae in his diary: *I was confused, but not about Jimin’s feelings. I knew what he was saying, and I could tell he was on the verge of coming out. But I didn’t want to push him. He needed time to figure things out, and I wanted to be there for him, no matter what.*
Tae smiled at me, a reassuring smile that made the knot in my chest loosen just a little. “Jimin, it’s completely normal to like guys. Maybe you just don’t like girls—and that’s okay. Don’t be confused. Do what makes you happy, and don’t feel pressured to fit into anyone’s expectations.”
He paused, his eyes softening even more. “And Chim, as your best friend, I’m here for you. From the very beginning, I’ve got your back, and I’ll always be here to help you figure things out. You’re not alone in this.”
I felt a warmth spread through me, a sense of relief I hadn’t known I needed. Tae had always been the one person I could count on, the one person who wouldn’t judge me.
Tae had comforted me that day, not knowing how much I needed to hear those words. It was the day I realized something about myself—that I was gay. But I still wasn’t ready to say it out loud. Not yet.
I wasn’t the only one discovering something that summer. Tae, too, was realizing things about himself. From the moment he had met Jungkook, I knew he was beginning to understand who he really was. He hadn’t said anything directly, but I could see it in the way he looked at Jungkook. The way his eyes lingered just a little too long.
That day, we both became a little more aware of ourselves. But neither of us was quite ready to put it into words. Not yet.
