These Shattered Remains (GE Series, Book One)

Teɴ: Sнαттer Me.

  //Author-Sama says: It is 1:16 in the morning. sOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1 SHORTY FIRE BURNING ON THE DANCE FLOOR WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHOHHHH~
Damn I need sleep.
Have this tiny chapter
Shoves it at your face
Yay

Oliver

"Please, tell me this isn't what it looks like.
Please, please tell me this isn't what it looks like.
Please, please tell me this isn't happening again.
God, please, no, please don't let this happen to me."

Oliver looked down at the girl, who was sleeping peacefully on his lap. Her head. Was on. His fucking. Lap. His eyes widened tremendously as his mouth fell open. His face and ears turned bright red as he kept his gaze on the girl's peaceful face. Running a frustrated hand through his hair, Oliver sighed, thinking over the situation.

"Everything's fine," he thought, "I mean, it's just the girl of your dreams sitting with her head dangerously close to your crotch, wearing your shirt, just like she always is, I mean, c'mon, everything's perfectly... fucking hell-" Oliver's eyebrows furrowed as he bit his lip softly, trying to move, but stopping as he felt Ryn stir. A quiet sound slid past her parted, sleepy lips. Oliver felt stirring in his lower stomach, and he couldn't tell if it was sexual tension, butterflies, or his inner weirdo shouting, "FUCKING HELL SHE'S ADORABLE."

Oliver's eyes continued to brush over the small girl's face, his fingers slowly moving out to join them. It was only one long finger, the gentlest of touches. He wished that she could be awake, looking up at him so he could do this to her. He wished that she would look at him with that face, with those beautiful eyes full of that unknown emotion. Oliver wanted to know what that emotion was.

Ryn stirred again, her arms curling up to her chest as he legs resumed their usual position, curled up in the fetal position. Oliver had to remind himself that she was asleep, and he was supposed to be asleep, not sitting there staring at the girl creepily, fantasizing about her. He sighed, leaning down and kissing her forehead softly, whispering quietly, "I'm sorry, Ryn," he began, words slowly pouring from his mouth.

"I just... I get so mad sometimes, because you really just, don't seem to remember, and I just wonder... maybe it didn't hurt you. But, that hurts me more to see the look, that fear, in your eyes as I..." he choked up slightly, tears welling in his eyes, "As I made mistakes. Mistakes I regret. Mistakes that I don't have the courage and the balls to apologize for to your face," his voice remained a soft murmur, though he felt like shouting the words out.

"I wish I could just muster up some kind of courage around you but... as soon as you look at me or smile in my direction I just... Lose any kind of confidence I thought I had, and I get so nervous," he whispered, his hands shaking slightly out of nerves. He knew she couldn't hear, but he was still nervous. "And even now that I'm able to so much as fucking speak to you, I... I fuck up again."

"I'm so sorry, Koneko..." he whispered, one of his tears slipping down his cheek and onto hers. He wiped it away quickly, composing himself angrily. He couldn't show this side to her, asleep or not. He couldn't let her see the truth, not again. There had only been 3 times she'd seen him this sensitive. Once on the night of his sister's death. Another in the closet when she was panicking. And lastly, when he'd broken days before.

He didn't want there to be a forth.

And, yet, even though he felt himself being able to trust her. He felt like even if she did catch him crying like this, he wouldn't be embarrassed. He wouldn't shy away from her, if that time came. He sighed, brushing the white hair from her eyes, watching them for a long moment, as if he expected they would open up. But, he didn't let himself get too hopeful as they never did.