The Queens of San Diego (18+)

Chapter 2

Lukas

My apartment sits high above the city, offering that perfect view of downtown San Diego. The floor-to-ceiling windows frame the skyline, and from up here, I can see all the lights twinkling like stars, the distant hum of traffic below. People would pay millions for this view, I'm sure, but tonight it feels like I'm looking at someone else's life. Like it's happening far away, not really part of me.

Everything in here is just... perfect. Every detail is in its place—the clean lines of the modern furniture, the cool tones of the abstract art on the wall, the gleaming stainless steel in the kitchen that never gets much use. It all blends together like a picture someone curated, but it's cold. Detached. Polished to the point that it barely feels lived in. And maybe that's because I don't live in it, not really. I'm here, but I'm not... present.

I've made everything look perfect. The career, the image, even this apartment. But standing here, staring at my own reflection in the mirror, I can't help but feel like something's missing. Something that no amount of success or luxury can fill.

I glance at the mirror by the door, adjusting the cuff of my shirt with the same precision I apply to everything in my life. From the outside, people would think I have it all together. But if they knew... if they really knew me, would they think the same? Would they still think I'm this perfect lawyer with everything figured out? No. They wouldn't. They'd see what's missing.

This apartment isn't just a reflection of my taste—it's a reflection of my life. Everything in its place. No room for mistakes. It's the way I was taught to be. My father made sure of that. Being a Macdonald means something. I've spent my entire life trying to live up to that standard, making sure I don't fall short. Perfect son, perfect lawyer, perfect life. But tonight? All of that feels like it's slipping, like I'm about to step into something that could shatter it all.

A sex party. Of all things, I'm about to go to a sex party. Not exactly the kind of event I was groomed for. And it's not just the party itself that's got me on edge. It's what it represents. Stepping into a world I'm not sure I belong in, letting go of this carefully constructed image I've spent years building.

And then there's JJ.

I let out a sigh, running a hand through my hair. JJ. He's always there, lingering in my thoughts, whether I want him to be or not. For years, I've tried to lock these feelings away, convincing myself it's better to just stay friends. Keep things simple. But who am I kidding? It's never been simple. Not with him. Every time I'm around JJ, there's this pull, something I can't shake. But what am I supposed to do with that? How do I turn a lifetime of unspoken feelings into something more than awkward silences and stolen glances?

Tonight could change everything. Or it could ruin everything. And honestly? I don't know which scares me more.

I step away from the mirror and move to the window, staring out at the city lights stretching into the night. From up here, it's all so distant, like the world can't touch me. Like I'm safe in this bubble of perfection I've built for myself. But I don't feel safe tonight. I feel trapped.

I glance at the clock. Any minute now, Izzy's going to show up, and I'm supposed to pretend I have it all together. I'm supposed to walk into this party and be okay with it. But I'm not. I'm not okay with it at all.

I want more than this life of expectations and polished surfaces. I want something real. But what if stepping into that reality means losing everything I've worked for? What if being real means losing JJ?

A knock at the door snaps me out of my thoughts. I glance at the clock. Right on time. Izzy.

I take a deep breath, trying to push the swirling thoughts out of my mind as I head to the door. Tonight's going to be a challenge. But maybe—just maybe—it's one worth facing.