The Queens of San Diego (18+)

Chapter 19

Lukas

It's been about a week since we got back from Iceland, and JJ and I have slipped into this...routine, I guess you could call it. We've been spending the nights at each other's places, alternating between his apartment and mine. It feels easy, like we're picking up where we left off before everything went to hell. The problem is, we haven't actually talked about anything. Not the Alejandro sex tape, not the betrayal, not what this is now.

We've just been having sex. Really good sex. Intense, mind-blowing, everything-else-fades-away kind of sex. I can't help but replay last night in my mind—how JJ's hands gripped my hips, the way he took control, and how he made me cum without even touching myself. I trembled under him, completely spent, but even after all that intensity, he still held me, still kissed my forehead like I was something precious. It's moments like that where I forget that there's anything between us that's broken.

But every time he leaves, or I leave, there's this lingering sense of uncertainty. It's like we're suspended in this space that feels so good, but also so fragile. I need to know—are we just falling back into old patterns? Or are we actually trying to fix things? Is JJ still mad at me? Or has the sex somehow smoothed things over? I want to ask, but I'm terrified of the answer. What if I push too hard, and he walks away for good this time?

We're lying in bed now, the morning sun streaming through the blinds, casting soft shadows across JJ's bare chest. I should be getting ready for work, but I can't help but look at him, his calm breathing, his messy hair. I want to hold onto this. I want him to stay, not just for now, but for real. And yet, I can't shake the fear that this fragile peace will shatter the moment we talk about what really happened between us.

But I know I can't avoid it forever. I need to know where we stand. And I have to ask—soon.

I sit up in bed, feeling the weight of last night settle into my muscles—a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction. JJ is still lying beside me, his hand draped lazily across his stomach, his chest rising and falling steadily. I glance at the clock on my nightstand. I should have been up fifteen minutes ago if I want to make it to work on time. My dad doesn't care about much, but punctuality? That's non-negotiable.

"Stay as long as you want," I say, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and standing up. "You don't have to leave right away." I mean it. I like the idea of him being here when I get back—waiting for me like we're some kind of normal couple. But I know he's got his own schedule, his own world to get back to. Even now, I can feel the unspoken tension between us, lingering just below the surface.

JJ stretches and smirks at me from the bed, his eyes trailing over me as I pull on my boxer briefs. "You clean up nice," he says, his voice low and teasing as I start buttoning up my shirt.

I catch his gaze in the mirror as I fasten the last button, his eyes lingering on the suit I'm pulling out of the closet. "Well, someone's gotta keep it professional," I say, smirking back at him. My reflection shows me slipping into the role I'm used to—the lawyer's son, the clean-cut professional. But when I look back at JJ, all I see is the one person who can break through that polished exterior. The one person who's seen me at my messiest.

The suit feels good, like armor, but it's not enough to protect me from what I know needs to be said.

I clear my throat, suddenly feeling the words pressing against the back of my mind, but not wanting to ruin this easy moment. "We should talk later," I say, my voice more casual than I feel.

JJ nods, propping himself up on one elbow. "Yeah, we probably should."

There it is—that subtle tension again. We're both walking on eggshells, knowing that once the conversation happens, things could shift. But for now, I'll take the moment. The sex, the easy banter, the way JJ looks at me in that suit like I'm someone worth sticking around for.