✰𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝✰- 𝐃𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧

✰𝟏𝟕. 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧

✰𝐌𝐚𝐲

✰𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢'𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐯:✰

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬!!!

I woke up eventually. I didn't know how long I had been asleep but it felt like quite a while. I wouldn't have been surprised if it were a couple days later even. Maybe I had even been in a coma or something, I did hope that some time had passed, the time should lessen the pain. I felt exhausted even after my sleep, I wanted to close my eyes right back and drift off again, or even black out again. My head and body were pounding and I was opening my eyes slowly, I wanted to go back to sleep. It didn't hurt when I was asleep, the pounding pain subsided when I was asleep. I felt like it was confirmed for me then, people didn't feel eternal pain when they were dead, I assumed it was like they were asleep.

This calmed me for some reason, I was pretty certain that I was alive but it brought me peace of mind that maybe Charlotte didn't have pain for eternity. Sometimes I worried that she felt the knife going in and out of her body like it were her second heartbeat. She would maybe feel the pulsating pain and think that it was just her heart, before remembering that her heart isn't that low. I wondered if she even felt it though, she had been out cold. Suddenly I realized what my circumstances could've been. I would look to the clouds and wish that she at least wasn't hurting.

Once my eyes were slightly cracked I saw Dally sitting down in the chairs beside of the hospital bed, he was using another chair to prop up his feet and he was reading something that had been on the table beside of him. I was shocked when I saw him. My eyes shot open fully immediately and I tried to sit up as fast as possible out of excitement and shock, but I wasn't successful. I was hit with an extreme wave of pain and a nurse gently pushed me back down by my chest. I was left groaning in pain and embarrassed, how could I think that was a good idea? I knew it wasn't, I was just surprised to see Dally beside me. Maybe it was all a dream, maybe I'm hallucinating Dally's presence.

"You have to stay down, you'll hurt yourself." The nurse said as I tried to recoup myself from the horrid pain. It took everything in me to not burst out in tears right then. I hated feeling trapped and not to mention how embarrassing this situation is. Dally had to see me in this debilitating state and it made me feel shameful. I didn't want him to see me raw, I only wanted him to see the facade I put on, that was the only way I had a chance. I felt as if my body were a cage that I couldn't break out of, would I have been free if I would've died? Maybe I wouldn't be trapped in these white walls in the prison that was my body.

I turned my head to face Dally and he scooted up his chair to be at the side of my bed. "Don't move and rest. You're bad enough as it is." Dally said as he ran his fingers through my hair. I felt my face get hot, I couldn't imagine how red I was. My eyes went wide as well. I couldn't get a full look at my body so I didn't know how I looked, I could only imagine how bad. He probably cringed deeply upon seeing my face, thinking about how fake I was, any attraction fading into the sky. Or maybe he meant that I looked sickly and hurt. Either way I wasn't pleased to hear the truth, I didn't want him to feel pity for my ugly looks or beaten body.

I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed. I know I looked a mess. My face was bare and my eyes were probably swollen from crying, my hair was probably a mess, the hospital gown is embarrassing enough to wear in front of the doctors so of course I don't want to wear it in front of Dally, and I'm covered in cuts and scratches. I thought my chance was gone, my chance of being with Dally was as ruined as my car. I wouldn't blame him for not liking me either after seeing what I really looked like. I wanted it to be a nightmare, I wanted to soon be woken up by a slap from my dad. I'd rather endure the slap as an alarm clock then have this situation happen ever again.