✰𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝✰- 𝐃𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧

✰𝟐𝟎. 𝐒𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐧

✰𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐞

✰𝐃𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐯:✰

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐬!!

I ran and ran, in the wrong direction. The right direction would have been back to her, back to her arms, back to her room, just anything to do with her. What should've been my girl. I didn't know where I was going, my feet seemed to have a mind of their own in this moment. I wanted to turn around, to run back up to her and hug her. To pick her up and spin her around, her smiling and laughing. We could pretend that I never asked such a stupid question and we could be happy again, but I couldn't go back to her. I'm too stubborn and it's too awkward.

I do regret lashing out on her, I know my accusations were false, I know she's not the type to two time a guy, but I lost it in the moment. I just don't get it, I don't understand. I don't get how she could hurt me, and it's looking like I won't ever understand, she's so secretive. I hate being left confused. Being confused is like being vulnerable. Everyone else knows what's going on but you're just lost and vulnerable, ready for someone to lie to you or trick you. That was one of the main factors that led me to drop out of school, a tough greaser doesn't ask questions on their algebra assignment, and if they did they'd get beat to shreds for sure.

I wanted to know so bad. If she would just tell me what was so bad about her then we could move on. I didn't care. I didn't care what the thing was. Murderer? If she justifies it then I'm alright. Dumb? I don't mind. Alcoholic? I don't care, I drink a lot myself. Terminal illness that will soon cause her death? We can ride out her final days of life together, I'll be there with her until the last breath. I'm crazy about her. I don't think there's anything that she has done that I haven't.

Anger ran through my body, specifically my feet, for they were moving so fast I could probably leave town by foot. Maybe even outrun a train or old subway from New York. I wasn't angry at her, it would be foolish to be angry at her. If I'm angry at her for rejecting me then that just makes me overly fragile and sensitive, and that's embarrassing for any man, but even more for me who has a reputation of being a tough guy that asks about three girls out a day. Well, before I met her. It ultimately wasn't her fault that she didn't like me, it was mine for thinking that she did in the first place. Maybe she was scared of me, or maybe my ego gave me a false sense of confidence.

We'd been acting like we were a couple for the past month. We laughed, I helped her with everything, and I guess the time we made out had completely slipped her mind, or maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing. No feelings in that make out session, but that wasn't true. I felt the feelings, I saw them, bright glowing fireworks out of my peripheral vision. But maybe she didn't. How self absorbed was I?

How could I be so stupid? I thought she liked me. I thought she would say yes to me and we could go around the town showing off her new walking abilities. Maybe I was just self centered, only concerned with my own feelings, and too wrapped up in them to realize the true meaning of hers. I wouldn't want her to be with a selfish a**h**e either.

Everyone knew good and well that she was gorgeous, the whole town agreed that she was beautiful, but nobody seemed to jump on it, leaving her as a girl that is only for the fantasies and magazines.

Does she know that I've heard the rumors? Guys on street corners saying that they saw me take her home last night. Guys on street corners telling me that she's insane and bound to make me go mad alongside of her. I didn't care. It only drew me to her more. I wanted to prove them wrong and treat her right. The nasty rumors were just a sirens song to me and I was the sailor.

I get my fun from beating up others and stealing from stores, that's how I get labeled to be a crazy guy. But what does she do to get labeled a crazy girl? Reject numbers and hookups from trashy guys that are only interested in seeing how many buttons they can undo? It felt like the whole town was in on some joke that I had to be left out from. It was infuriating.