Where Clover Whitens (Jalex)

Madrigal

Content Warning for Domestic Violence. Other triggers are listed in the tags. Please be safe.

It is your name I breathe, your hands I seek;

It will be you when you are gone.

And yet the dream, the name I never speak,

Is that that lures me on.

-Louis Untermeyer, "Infidelity"

The next morning, Jack rolled out of bed after not sleeping much. He couldn't help but picture horrible things happening to Alex and it had kept him wide awake all night, wishing that Alex would at least text him back, but that text never came. Beau had said Alex was sleeping, but Jack did not trust him at all. What if Alex really was sick, too sick to even look at his phone? What if he'd gotten hurt somehow? What if Beau was keeping him from the band for some reason? The latter seemed likely, especially after the argument Jack and Caitlin had had the night before.

"Nope, you've made it perfectly clear. In fact, I think you worry about Alex a little too much."

"Okay...How about when we're with Beau and Alex, you two seem to forget that we're there?"

"You've kissed him more times than you've ever kissed me. And don't you blame Beau for this shit. All he's done is love and care for Alex. I don't know why you two are so obsessed with each other, but it's weird."

"There you go again, protecting your precious little Alex. He's also not a child, Jack."

As Jack recalled the biting words from his wife about Alex, he felt anger rise in his chest yet again. Even if Jack was freaking out over nothing, and that was a very big if, Caitlin still didn't need to speak about his best friend like that. She was so jealous, and Jack supposed she had every right to be, but she needed to direct that anger toward Jack, not Alex. She was married to Jack, after all. And regardless, she'd been dismissive of how anxious Jack was about Alex's well-being. That in of itself was enough cause for concern.

Caitlin had already left for work by the time he ambled into the kitchen for coffee. He stood, eyes clouded, as he waited for the coffee to brew. Jack stared out the window, unable to get Alex off his mind. He remembered the bruises on his wrist, the way he'd jumped when Jack had knocked over his beer, how stiff he became when Beau ambushed them in the bathroom at the pub. Something just wasn't right. He couldn't put his finger on what that was exactly, but he feared that if he didn't, Alex would be in grave danger.

Once the Keurig spat out his coffee, he took the mug into the living room and sat down to sip it black. He sat in his recliner in his underwear, thinking. Mainly, he thought of Alex, but of Caitlin and Beau, too. Jack wondered if Beau had also talked to Alex about what Caitlin had spat at him the night before. He wanted to call Alex, to compare notes and laugh at their foolishness, but the issue was that their assumptions weren't just foolishness. The truth was that Alex was in love with Jack, that they'd physically (and emotionally) been adulterous, and that Jack definitely had some kind of feelings for Alex, too, even if it was just a little past platonic and protective.

As Jack finished his coffee, a thought occurred that had him jumping to his feet. He poured the last of his coffee down the sink and left the mug sitting in it, too. If Caitlin was at work, then so was Beau, and if Beau was at work, then Alex would be alone. He quickly checked Alex's location to see if he was home, finding that he was at Beau's house.

Still? Jack thought to himself, hopping into his car. What about the dogs? Are they okay?

Jack couldn't imagine Alex leaving Peyton and Baz for very long, but Alex had been acting out of character for a while now.