Where Clover Whitens (Jalex)

Allusion

Wine comes in at the mouth

And love comes in at the eye;

That's all we shall know for truth

Before we grow old and die.

- William Butler Yeats, "A Drinking Song"

Just stepping into the second bar gave Alex a headache. The 302 was infamous for being loud and bright, and it held up its reputation. There were pink and purple strobe lights flashing intensely and a club remix of an Ariana Grande song was pulsing so loudly that Alex could feel the bass in his feet and chest.

Alex was already tipsy by the time he and his friends reached the 302. There, he had several more shots, but this time, he'd switched to Grey Goose. He sipped on a few more beers and had a fruity cocktail, too, just to treat himself. In all honesty, Alex would much rather have that or a glass of wine, but tonight wasn't about enjoying himself; it was about surviving. Alex's head was already spinning and he could feel all of the liquor collecting and sloshing in his stomach. There was bile in the back of his throat and he felt nauseous. He and his friends were seated in the corner of the club drinking even more. At this point, most of the guys were trashed, stumbling and tripping over their own feet. Alex was watching Jack giggle with his head thrown back, that childish laugh that he knew by heart, that he hadn't heard in a while. It was easy for Alex's mind to conjure up different reasons for this, but they were all self-serving and not at all the truth. He imagined that Jack was happy and smiling because he was with his friends, not Caitlin, having a good time with all responsibilities forgotten. In reality, Jack was finally grown up. It had taken forever, but it was happening right before Alex's eyes and it was as if all of his worst fears were coming true. Jack was changing. Jack was leaving Alex behind. He was getting married, going to buy a house and start a family. Alex was nowhere near that.

The remnants of the vodka in Alex's glass burned his throat and he swallowed it bitterly, forcing himself to look away from his best friend. Instead, he chose to focus on Vinny, who was resurrecting his bit in which he treated liquor as puppets. Alex couldn't help but laugh, but he also couldn't stop his eyes from jumping back to Jack, wanting to know how he was reacting. Jack was giggling even harder, his fists clenched and his dark eyes filling with tears. Alex felt a pang in his chest; he wanted to hold that laugh close to his heart forever.

Alex did not fall in love with Jack at first sight. It took years, actually. After all, he and Jack were not friends instantly; Jack had been wary of Alex's private school past and cocky attitude. Alex had been wary of the dorky, kind of ugly kid in his physical science class that claimed to know more about rock music than him. Even so, it didn't take long for the the two of them to become close friends. Alex admired Jack's drive and his utter love of life and music. Jack had introduced him to Blink-182 and convinced him to start a band with him. They were so inseparable that it was weird for Alex when Jack wasn't around. Alex could remember the day Jack first played Blink for him like it was only the day before.

Jack loved hanging out at Alex's house because it was big and Alex had a giant room to himself. He also had no siblings, so no one but Alex's parents could bother them. They rarely did, though, because Jack kept Alex busy and they loved Jack. He was a weird boy, but a sweet one and they knew that he cared for Alex very much.

Alex had been listening to an old Sublime album when Jack arrived one day. Jack had just walked straight through the front door, yelled a hello to Peter and Isobel, and gone upstairs to Alex's room, throwing the door open and stepping inside.

"Good thing I wasn't jerking off," Alex laughed from his bed, where he sat cross-legged. He smirked to hide the fact that his heart was pounding and that he could hardly keep from grinning from ear-to-ear. Being around Jack made him so happy. He was Alex's favorite person in the world.