Where Clover Whitens (Jalex)

Litany

Content Warning: Domestic Violence in this chapter (there are some other triggers like gaslighting and mental abuse, too). Please see the tags for a complete list of possible triggers.

Alone, all alone

Nobody, but nobody

Can make it out here alone.

-Maya Angelou, "Alone"

It was two hours past six and Jack had had just about enough. He checked the time on his phone once again and then growled with annoyance, shoving it into the pocket of his joggers. "I say we fucking dip."

Zack looked up from his own iPhone, his features solemn. "I'm sure he'll be here, guys. Alex is always late; this is nothing new."

"This is late even for him," Rian argued, reaching to stretch his arms above his head. "This is kinda ridiculous. He can't even answer his phone?"

Jack wasn't texting or calling Alex again. The other man had been horrible at responding to him lately. On a personal level, he understood. But a professional one was something quite different. Alex had never once put the band in jeopardy. Putting it in jeopardy was probably a dramatic way to phrase the situation, but Jack was pissed off.

The entire band and Dan Swank were supposed to have met up at MDDN in Burbank to discuss their new album with Zakk Cervini. The writing process was one of Alex's favorites and he was always itching to write new songs, often scribbling lines on napkins and typing up (albeit rough) verses on his phone's notes app. He had taken a hefty role on over the years, doing most of the songwriting, but Jack had some ideas this go-round and had been looking forward to asking Alex how he could contribute.

Of course, that was before the whole thing had happened between them.

Now, Jack could imagine Alex writing journals full of angsty, heartbroken ballads about how much Jack had wronged him. And the thing was, Jack couldn't blame him, couldn't be angry with him for it. He couldn't imagine the pain Alex had experienced due to Jack's selfishness and inability to make up his mind.

However, Jack could be angry with him for being over two hours late to a band meeting. Alex knew as well as the rest of them how important these were. For God's sake, Rian and Dan had flown in from Nashville that morning, and if Zack wasn't already in town visiting Claire, then he would have come all the way from Hawaii. Jack could see the clear irritation in Rian's eyes, and though Dan was quiet, he looked anxious, too.

"Something had to have come up," Zack argued, toying with his phone. He had an island-themed pop socket on the back of it, and he spun it in circles.

Jack watched Rian narrow his eyes at Zack. "Why are you defending him?" He spat, folding his arms over his chest. "He's fucking us all over." He was surprised at Rian's tone, even if he was the most impatient in the group.

Zack remained calm, though, shrugging. "I just think you guys are being hard on him. Like what if something happened? He's never this late without letting us know he's on the way or held up or whatever. I'm kind of worried."

Rian narrowed his eyes at Zack and then sighed, softening. "This is a weird question, but does anyone have his location? Like can we see where he's at?"

It was quiet for a moment before Jack remembered that he actually did have Alex's location. The boy had shared it with him indefinitely when he'd moved to LA because Isobel wanted someone in town to know where he was at all times in case of an emergency. Alex had been embarrassed to ask Jack, blushing and complaining about his mother still helicoptering over him in his mid-thirties, but Jack believed it was precious that Alex wanted to appease his mom.