Where Clover Whitens (Jalex)

Blazon

Lament my loss, my labour, and my pain,

All ye that hear my woeful plaint and cry.

If ever man might once your heart constrain

To pity words of right, it should be I

-Sir Thomas Wyatt, "Lament My Loss, My Labour, and My Pain"

Jack watched as Alex's gurney was rolled out of the ambulance through automatic double doors. Immediately, he jumped to his feet, ignoring his nausea, to follow him.

"Sit down, sir," an EMT said, gently pushing his shoulder down. "He's going to be fine, but you're in shock. You need to wait a minute."

"I don't want to wait!" Jack exclaimed. "Don't you see? Alex is hurt! He needs me!" His eyes blurred with tears and his stomach started rolling again.

"Mr. Barakat," the EMT said calmly, but firmly. "I understand that you're upset, but there are a ton of reporters here. We need security to clear them out before we get you out."

Jack sobered, wiping at his eyes. "Reporters?"

The EMT nodded. "Someone tipped off TMZ that George Carpenter's grandson has been arrested for domestic violence."

Jack sighed. It was only a matter of time until they picked up on who Beau's victim was, and that would be a nightmare. He couldn't dwell on that now, though. He needed to focus all of his energy on Alex. Jack began anxiously twiddling his thumbs. Alex was right inside and there was nothing he could do but sit and wait.

What felt like days of waiting was actually only a few minutes. A nurse took Jack's vitals and a doctor examined him. Despite the blood covering him, he was in perfect health. After, Jack was allowed to shower, and a quick text to Zack and Rian meant clean clothes. All the while, his mind raced with thoughts of Alex and memories of how he'd found him. Alex had looked so broken, so destroyed, and Jack had feared the worst. He didn't know what he'd have done if Alex...if he'd lost him.

The grief would have been insurmountable. Alex was, well, he was everything if Jack was being honest. How did one cope with the loss of the other half of their soul? Caitlin was his wife and Jack knew that he should think of her as his other half, but he didn't. Couldn't. It was Alex and try as he might to fight it, no one could compare to Alex. Alex knew him better than anyone else in the world and could read and understand him with just a simple glance. He was the brightest spot in Jack's days, even when the dark seemed all-encompassing. Simply put, Alex was it, and Jack was tired of fighting that.

That wasn't to say he was going to leave his wife. Jack had made a vow to her and he intended on keeping it. But his heart was weary, aching unequivocally for Alex, and wondering how much Caitlin had known about Beau's abusive tendencies. But that could wait because Jack wanted to be by Alex's side when he woke up.

Once he was showered and changed, he was running straight for Alex's room. Since he was stable, Alex could have visitors now, but only one at a time since he needed rest. That was all Jack expected to hear, though, since he wasn't a family member. Rian and Zack graciously allowed him to visit Alex first, opting to use the time Jack spent with Alex to call Alex's parents. Jack was so grateful for his friends and bandmates. He didn't know how he could do any of this without him.

Gingerly, Jack tiptoed into the hospital room. Alex was asleep and he looked so small and fragile, like a burst from the air conditioner might blow him away and shatter his bones. The sight made Jack's heart drop into his stomach and he thought about turning tail to avoid seeing his friend like he was. But, no. Jack owed this to Alex at the very least. The last few months had taken the worst toll on Alex, what with Beau's abuse and Jack's mercurial highs and lows.