[Re... So, I've decided to move into your apartment. Leaving it here would be a waste.]
Miriam knew I was moving back in with Jao-Jom today, so she called quickly to ask if she could use the room before it was sold. I had already put the room up for sale, but it probably wouldn't sell anytime soon, which didn't worry me much.
"Make yourself at home. In the meantime, you can stay there. But if you move out, Ong will be alone with Mom.
[Well, your apartment is closer to my workplace.]
"How is it closer? Your workplace and home are just one bus stop away. Don't make excuses. Why are you moving out? Wait, do you have a boyfriend?"
[...]
"You actually have one?"
I asked, surprised. I knew my sister was old enough to take care of herself, but when it came to topics like this, my big sister instincts kicked in.
"Who is it? Do I know him?"
[It's complicated. I'll tell you when I'm sure.]
"You're moving in with a boyfriend, and you're still not sure? What's going on?"
[I don't know. That's it for now.]
Considering my sister's personality, which was similar to mine, not liking people meddling in personal matters, I decided not to insist any further and changed the subject.
"Okay, I won't intrude. Just be happy with your decision. I love you."
[You say "I love you" a lot lately. Well, I love you too, Re. Before I hang up, I wish you happiness in your relationship. Take care of your health, sis. The family is tired of worrying. Let us have our own lives.]
"Shut up!"
I laughed and hung up on my naughty sister before opening the trunk to get the luggage I had brought. We hadn't gone upstairs yet because Jao-Jom was still standing, looking at her building, which hadn't changed on the outside, but was a different world on the inside.
"Are we really going to live together now?"
"Yes."
"Are we going to live together as a couple, like Jom's parents?"
"Why so many questions today?"
"Didn't you decide too quickly? You can meet someone better..."
"Life is uncertain. I've been there."
I looked resolutely into my student's eyes.
"Ever since the day my heart stopped and I passed out, waking up felt like a blessing from God or something supernatural. I decided to live my life to the fullest."
“...”
"I want to be with you as long as I can."
I meant every word. Life is unpredictable. We don't even know if tomorrow will come. I used to live recklessly, knowing only that each day ended and after sleeping, a new day began, repeating the same routine until the day I passed out. Everything went dark.
Empty...
That's when I realized that life is uncertain. Tomorrow is the next life, they could be the same day, for all we know when Jao-Jom disappeared, I cried and blamed myself. If only I had been nicer, complimented her, or told her I loved her, if only I had gone out to buy food with her, if only I hadn't played hard to get...
If, if, if... So many "ifs" irritated me. It made me realize that if there's still time, start doing good things today. No, right now, if possible.
I remember being very impatient at that time, wanting to bring Jao-Jom back to her old life and cut ties with unrelated people. I planned for Jao-Jom to celebrate her birthday with her family, but everything was too rushed, and the plan fell apart.
