Hearts on the field

Back to reality

The morning was heavy with unspoken emotion as Emily and Jake finished packing their bags, preparing to leave for the airport. Emily walked through her childhood home for what felt like the last time, her fingers brushing over familiar walls, photos of Zack, and little reminders of a life that was now forever changed. Her parents stood in the hallway, the weight of grief evident in their eyes, but they tried to muster a sense of normalcy for her sake.

As she hugged her mother goodbye, the older woman held her tighter than usual, whispering, "Emily, sweetheart... we've talked about it, and we just can't do Christmas this year. It's too soon after Zack... it just doesn't feel right."

Emily nodded, though the words stung. Christmas had always been a big deal for her family, full of warmth, traditions, and Zack's playful antics. But now, without him, the thought of celebrating felt hollow.

Her dad added, "We know it'll be hard for you too, Em. If you don't want to be alone, maybe you could visit your aunt in Canada. She'd love to have you."

Jake, standing beside her, took in the conversation silently, his mind racing. The idea of Emily spending Christmas away from everyone, dealing with her grief alone, didn't sit well with him. He made a mental note to talk to his parents soon, hoping they'd be okay with having Emily join them for the holidays.

Emily forced a smile and hugged her parents again before Jake gently guided her towards the car. The drive to the airport was quiet, both of them lost in their thoughts. Emily stared out the window, her mind still lingering on the fact that this was the last time she would ever be in this house with her family intact.

They boarded the plane, and Emily took the window seat, watching as the familiar landscape of her hometown disappeared beneath the clouds. As the plane leveled out, she turned to Jake, her voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you, Jake... for everything."

Jake looked at her, his eyes soft with affection. He reached out, taking her hand in his. "You don't have to thank me, Em. That's what you do for people you love. I wasn't going to let you go through that alone."

Emily's breath caught at his words, her heart swelling despite the sadness weighing her down. "I don't know what I would've done without you."

Jake gave her hand a squeeze. "You don't have to figure that out because you're never going to be without me. I'm here. Always."

Emily leaned her head against his shoulder, the exhaustion of the past few days finally catching up to her. "I'm scared, Jake. I don't know how to move forward without Zack."

He kissed the top of her head gently. "You don't have to have it all figured out right now. We'll take it one day at a time, together. And when you're ready, we'll celebrate the good days, for Zack too. He wouldn't want you to stop living."

His words were exactly what she needed to hear. Emily closed her eyes, letting herself rest in the comfort of his presence.

When they arrived back at campus, the sight of the familiar dorms was both comforting and jarring. It felt strange to be back in a place where life carried on normally, even though her world had shifted so drastically. As soon as Jake pulled the car up outside Emily's dorm, the door flew open, and Maya came sprinting out, throwing her arms around Emily in a tight hug.

"Oh my god, Em, I'm so sorry," Maya whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Emily hugged her best friend back, feeling a rush of warmth despite the sadness. "I missed you," Emily murmured.

Marcus appeared right behind Maya, pulling Emily into another hug. "Glad you're back, Em," he said, his voice low and comforting.

Jake grabbed Emily's bags from the trunk and carried them up to her room while the others followed closely behind. Once everything was settled, Marcus suggested they all head to the diner for something to eat. They agreed, figuring a change of scenery would do them all some good.

At the diner, the four friends sat in their usual booth, the familiar smells of coffee and comfort food filling the air. Emily looked around the table, her heart swelling with gratitude despite the lingering sadness. She cleared her throat and spoke softly, "I just... I really want to thank you all. For being here, for supporting me. I don't know what I would've done without you."

Maya reached across the table, grabbing Emily's hand. "You don't ever have to go through anything alone, Em. We're your family too."

Marcus nodded in agreement, adding, "You've been there for us through a lot of stuff. We've got your back, no matter what."

Jake, sitting beside Emily, placed a hand on her knee, offering her a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "We're all in this together."

For the first time in days, Emily felt a flicker of happiness in her chest. It was small, but it was there. She looked at her friends, her boyfriend, and felt something close to peace.

But then, as quickly as it came, guilt followed. She shouldn't be feeling happy, not now. Not when her brother had just been buried. The thought weighed on her, making her feel like she was betraying his memory by allowing herself even the smallest moment of relief.

She pulled her hand away from the table, wrapping her arms around herself as if trying to shield herself from the conflicting emotions.

Jake noticed the shift and leaned in, whispering softly, "It's okay to feel happy sometimes, Em. Zack wouldn't want you to stop living."

Emily blinked back the tears that threatened to spill and nodded, but inside, she wasn't sure if she'd ever truly be able to move forward without feeling the weight of her brother's absence.