Anahita
Have you ever put your hands in freezing cold water till you can't feel them anymore? As the coldness is so much that all you feel is numb. That is how everyone describe him, numb. An astute businessmen, for whom the reputation of his famil...
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Anahita
In twenty minutes, we were walking through the hallways of the hospital. The stench of disinfectant was getting in my head and was enough to remind me about the similar and familiar set up. The image of my father instantly popped up in my head and I head to stop and take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I resume walking but my steps faltered, with shaky hand I grab one of the many metal chairs that were placed in a row nearby for the visitors. Adhrit must have been alarmed by my actions because the moment I reach for something to hold onto, something to lean on, his large hands took hold of my frame by the side.
Maybe I underestimated the effect, these sterile surroundings have over me. Those white walls, cold as snow. The never-ending sight of grief stricken and gloomy faces, feeling afraid and out of their depths. It's not been easy to visit my father in hospital, knowing what it means and what the future holds.
"Are you okay?"
His soothing voice brought me back from my nerve-racking state of mind. As if on autopilot I withdrew my hand from the cold chair and put it over his warm ones. I let my body relax, feeling the warmth of his touch. I promise myself that it'll be just for a second. Just for a fraction of time I will let myself feel taken care of.
I hummed. Nodding, letting him know that everything's fine. I peered up to find him with clenched jaw and scrunched eyebrows, frowning. Is he...angry? I was about to apologise for making him angry, though the reason is unknown to me but still my lips were forming the words when I saw his eyes. They weren't stone cold or accusatory instead I find them expressing concern and empathy which I didn't know he was capable of. Everyone says that the dark is supposed to be evil and white is supposed to be good and pure and everything life then why am I finding these striking fluorescent lights dead and sterile and why those raven orbs with their velvety appearance are filling me with a sense of warmth and life? The contrast couldn't have been more apparent and confusing to me.
"We are leaving." Taking my hand, he stated monotonously with clenched jaw but I heard the hint of agitation and restlessness in his voice. I noticed the way his breathing changed and how his eyes darkened to another shade of black as he tried to drag me away.
The desperate me wants to cling to this darkness and never let go for the very reason that I wouldn't have to face the blinding reality of life. So, I did just that. I let myself feel surrounded by the enigmatic allure of his eyes and pushed back the alarms ringing in my head. Those eyes gave me the surging warmth and courage to go ahead and I knew I will be just fine. But, is justfine really what I want for me?
"No. We are not going back without paying our visit." I contradicted, planting my feet firmly so to not get pulled away by him.
"Anahita." He growled.
My mind wanted him gone, to leave me alone when I am this close to having a breakdown but I also want him to stay with me and never let go, I know I sound crazy right now. I knew how dangerous it is to hope as soon as these thoughts crossed my mind. With my other hand I hesitantly tried to unclasp his fingers from my wrist without breaking the eye contact and standing my ground, "You can go back if you want. I'm sure I'll manage and..."
