Kurt Hummel and the Seven Dwarfs

Chapter 7

As they reach the cottage, Doc cautiously peers into the crack in the front door and beckons the others to come closer.

Doc: Psst.

Doc slowly opens the door and looks around. The other dwarfs pile in around her, with Dopey peeking out through Sleepy's beard. Seeing that the coast is clear, the Dwarfs tiptoe slowly inside, their shoes squeaking on the clean floor and Sleepy steps on Dopey as they enter. Then the mute dwarf picks himself up and shuts the door. THUD!! The noise alarms the others so many, they jump and scramble around frantically. As they see it's only Dopey locking the door, they calm down

Dwarfs: Ssh!

Dopey nods, but turns towards the door

Dopey: Ssh!

Doc: Careful, men. Search every cook and nanny, er, hook and granny, uh, crook and fan--- (sees that his inability to say "nook and cranny" is confusing the others) Search everywhere. (Then the Dwarfs split up, their shoes yet squeaking. From up in the rafters, the bluebird family watches them sneaking around, looking for whatever's in their house. From a window, Mrs. Deer, a rabbit and two chipmunks also watch, ducking briefly out of sight as two of them pass by. After a few seconds, one of them following Doc makes a loud creaking sound, and they stop short) Shh, quiet! (About three steps later, Doc, followed by Sneezy and Sleepy, stops and looks down on the newly-cleaned floor) Look! (Sneezy and Sleepy raise their picks) The floor, it's been swept!

The two Dwarfs look down, and see that he's right. Grumpy, on the other hand, runs a finger over a chair)

Grumpy: Huh! Chair's been dusted.

Happy: Our window's been washed.

Then Paul looks at where the cobwebs are

Bashful: Gawrsh, our cobwebs are missing.

Doc: Why, why, why, why...why, the entire place is clean!

Grumpy: There's dirty work afoot!

Doc nods in agreement. Over by the sink, Dleepy and Sneezy notice that all the dishes that were in it are gone

Sneezy: Sink's empty. Hey, someone stole our dishes!

Happy, who is by the cabinets, looks inside and sees that the dishes are all inside

Happy: They ain't stole, they're hid in the cupboard.

Bashful, who is standing nearby, picks up a small mug and inspects it carefully

Bashful: My cup's been washed. (runs a finger through it) Sugar's gone.

Then Happy and Dopey head towards the fireplace, where the soup is yet cooking. It is bubbling and brewing nicely so far, and not overflowing as one will expect

Happy: Something's cooking. (takes a whiff) Smells good.

He tries to take a taste, but Grumpy pulls both him and Ringo away from the pot

Grumpy: Don't touch it, you fools! (points to the pot) It might be poisoned! (Suddenly, as if on cue, the pot hisses as some steam escapes and the lid rustles a bit from the force. The three Dwarfs jump back in surprise) You see? It's witch's brew.

Cut to the Dwarfs' table. The plates, bowls, glasses and utensils are arranged neatly about with a lit candelabra and a pot of flowers in the middle

Doc: Look what just happened to our stable, er, table.

Bashful notices the flowerpot and takes the flowers out

Bashful: Flowers!

He takes a big sniff

Sneezy: What?

Bashful: Look, goldenrod.

Paul puts the flowers in Sneezy's face, but he swiftly recoils from the pollen, emitting from them

Calvin: Don't do it. Take them away. My nose! My hay fever. You know I can't stand it! I can't...I ca...I...ah-ch...ah... (gears up to sneeze, but the other Dwarfs block his nose just in time) Phew, thanks.

Unfortunately, this does not help for long as Sneezy lets out a loud, anguished shout that blows all the Warriors across the room, except for Grumpy, who fights himself against the blast. Then the other five dwarfs fall in a heap at the far end of the room, several dishes clattering at their feet

Doc/Sleepy/ Dopey/Happy/Bashful: Ssh!

Sneezy simply strokes his nose as Grumpy walks over to him.

Grumpy: You crazy fool! Fine time you picked to sneeze!

Sneezy: I couldn't help it. I can't tell. If you gotta to, you gotta. (feels another sneeze coming on) I...I...I gotta. I-I-It's coming. Ah-ch...oo-ch...ah-ch...ah...

The others tackle him to try and quell his sneeze, for fear that it might be a bigger one.

Dwarfs: Watch out! Don't let him! Stop him!

Sneezy: (head poking out of the pile) Oh...ah-ah-ah-

The Dwarfs pull his head back in.

Dwarfs: No, tie it tight! Don't let go! Hold him tight! I'll tie it. Make a hard knot.

The others pull away from Sneezy, revealing that they have tied his nose with his beard around his nose to keep him from sneezing

Happy: There, that'll hold him.

Sneezy: (nasally) Phew, thanks.

Happy: Ssh!

Grumpy: Quiet, you fool! You wanna get us all killed?