Kurt Hummel and the Seven Dwarfs

Chapter 18

Fade to the forest. The animals are running towards the mine, hoping to catch the Dwarfs before they begin work, unaware that they have reached it already. The latter, of course, is bringing up the rear due to the fact running as fast as the animals.

Dwarfs: (singing) Heigh-ho,
heigh-ho,
heigh-ho,
heigh-ho,
it's off to work we go. (whistling)
Heigh-ho,
heigh-ho!

At this point, the animals have crossed the river by the mine and are almost there. Meanwhile, the dwarfs load their tools into a cart. Doc, Sneezy, Grump, Happy, and Bashful pull in front while Sleepy and Dopey bring up the rear. Suddenly, Doc stops short.

Doc: Hey, look! (After Doc stops, the rest of the dwarfs bump into him and fall to the ground, the cart clattering behind them. Eventually, the animals rush over the hilltop and try to get the dwarfs to follow them, but they do not understand) Stop that! Get away from me, get away! Go on, shoo!

Grumpy: (to some birds) Go on, get outta here!

Five of the birds pull on Dopey's coat, but he shoos them away and falls down. This, however, does not stop the birds and they pull on him again.

Doc: (as Mrs. Deer pushes him) What ails these crazy birds?

Bashful: (holding onto a tree as Mr. Deer tugs on him) Th-they've gone plumb daffy!

Sneezy: (as some birds, a squirrel and a rabbit pull on him) Yes, they've g-g-gone--ah-choooooOOOO!!!!

His sneeze blows the squirrel and rabbit away, but not the birds. Cut to the Warrior's cottage, interior. Sue is speaking to Kurt after her little drink and now has a new idea on how to get him to taste the poisoned apple.

Sue: And because you've been so good to poor old Granny, I'll share a secret with you. This is no ordinary apple. It's a magic wishing apple.

Kurt: A wishing apple?

Sue: Yes! One bite and all your dreams will come true.

Kurt: Really?

Sue: Yes, boy. (as she says these words, she walks toward Kurt with the hand holding the apple extended towards him) Now, make a wish and take a bite.

Cut to the mine. The animals are yet trying to get the confused dwarfs to follow them, with little success.

Happy: Go on, get!

Bashful: These pesky critters won't stop!

Doc: Ain't natural, there's something wrong!

Grumpy: They ain't acting this way for nothing!

Charles Wallace: (yawning voice) Perhaps the old Queen Sue, uh, has Kurt.

Doc: (realizing) Queen Sue!

Dwarfs: (also realizing, in unison) Kurt!

Grumpy: (worried, which is surprising coming him) Sue'll kill him! We have to save him!

Doc: Yes! Yes! Uh, w-w-we have to save him!

Sneezy: She'll kill him!

Happy: What we do?

Doc: Yes, yes, what'll we do?

Grumpy: C'mon! (mounts Mr. Deer) Giddap!

Bashful and Sneezy mount another male deer with the latter hanging onto its tail. Happy is having problems getting on another deer until the birds help him on, albeit backwards. Then Doc runs after them.

Doc: Wait for me! Wait for--

Another one of the deer lifts Doc onto its back. Lastly of course, Dopey, who is hanging onto a deer's tail while trying to mount it. Also unsurprisingly, Mr. Turtle is almost to the mine as the others pass him and run like thunder towards the cottage, hoping to save Kurt in time. Cut to the Warrior's cottage, interior. Sue is advancing towards Kurt, yet trying to goad the princess into eating the tainted apple

Sue: There must be something your little heart desires. Maybe there's someone you love.

Kurt: (frightened and backed into a corner) Well, there is someone.

Sue: I thought so. I thought so! (chuckles) Old Granny knows a young boy's heart. (hands Snow White the apple) Now take the apple, dear boy, and make a wish.

Kurt: (closing his eyes) I wish...I wish...

Sue: That's it, go ahead! Go ahead.

Meanwhile, the Dwarfs ride as fast as they can to the cottage across the log bridge, down a cliff and over a crevice

Kurt: ...and that he will carry me away to his castle, where we will live happily ever after.

Sue: Fine, fine! Now take a bite. (Meanwhile, both animals and Dwarfs are yet running as fast as they can) (from inside) Don't let the wish grow cold!

Dark clouds slowly begin to appear in the heavens just as Kurt takes a bite out of the apple. Suddenly, he begins to feel woozy as the spell takes effect.

Kurt: Oh, I feel strange.

Sue: (to herself) His breath will silence. His blood congeal. (Kurt takes a few short breaths before eventually collapsing to the floor. Marsha cackles triumphantly, and it starts to storm) Now I'll be fairest in the land! (cackling)

Suddenly, Sue looks to see the Dwarfs riding on the animals toward her.

Dwarfs: Hurry up, hurry up!

Fearing for her life, Sue runs away from the cottage just as her pursuers get there.

Grumpy: There she goes! (The animals and their riders take off with Sue, oblivious to Kurt's condition. The vultures, now sure that the wicked queen is the soon-to-be-dead carcass they will feast on, fly after her as well. Meanwhile, Sue is yet running as fast as she can, the pouring rain, gusting wind and tangling vines from the trees slowing her down. Soon she reaches a high rocky cliff and climbs up, sure that the Dwarfs will not follow her) After her!

The Dwarfs climb up after Sue, who is halfway up to the cliff as she turns to see her pursuers. They are not looking very happy as they get closer to her. Without a moment's hesitation, she advances on towards the top with the dwarfs gaining on her. Eventually, she gets to the peak and suddenly finds herself at the edge of the cliff.

Sue: (gasping) I'm trapped! What will I do? The meddling little fools! (As she speaks, the vultures perch on a branch above her and grin, knowing that her falling off the cliff will mean certain death. The Dwarfs are almost to her as she picks up a long stick and lodges it under a boulder large enough to crush them all. She pushes on it) I'll fix you! I'll fix you! I'll fix you! I'll crush your bones!

They get to her just as the boulder's about to come down.

Grumpy: Look out!

Sue cackles triumphantly one last time, confident she'll finish off the Dwarfs, but suddenly, a bolt of lightning almost misses her and causes the rock to crumble underneath her. As she falls to her death, screaming, the boulder leans the other road and falls with her. The vultures watch her fall and grin once more, knowing they eventually have a dead body to devour. The Dwarfs, however, look on with astonishment and find almost no trace of her in the deep, dark abyss. Then the vultures fly down to find Sues remains.