Kurt Hummel and the Seven Dwarfs

Chapter 8

Upon hearing Grumpy, the bluebirds decide to have little fun and tap their beaks on the rafters. The noise alarms the Dwarfs.

Happy: Wh-wh-wh-what's that?

Doc: That's it.

Bashful: Sounded close.

Grumpy: It's in this room right now.

A second later, the bluebirds let out an ear-piercing squawk that frightens the Dwarfs even more, causing them to scatter in separate directions. Sneezy jumps right into a pot and peeks out from it. Happy is hiding behind a chair, while Sleepy pokes out from a bucket, his beard disguised as part of a mop. Dopey also comes out of a wood pile with an axe impaled in the log on his head. Grumpy, however, gets up, disguised as a spilled bag of potatoes, his nose disguised as one. The last to come out is Bashful, from under the stairs, as the others gather around and look upstairs

Doc: (carrying a lit candle) It's up there.

Bashful: Yes, in the bedroom.

Doc: Uh, right, one of us has to go down and chase it up. (realizes he meant "go up and chase it down") Uh-uh-uh, up, down. (The Dwarfs all nod in agreement, but turn towards Dopey. He grins at first, but as he realizes they're sending him up, he looks at them as if to say "ME?!" and tries to get away, but Sneezy and Grumpy pull him back toward the stairs) Here, take it. Don't be hesitant. (Doc places the candle in Dopey's quivering hand, and the others push him towards the stairs. He is almost up as a creak makes him jump and turn back to the others) Don't be afraid. We're right behind you.

Other Dwarfs: (in unison) Yes, right behind you.

Dopey nods affirmatively, but gulps as he turns around. Then he gets to the top of the stairs and opens the door slowly. After a few seconds of peering inside, he opens the door the rest of the road and looks around to see if the coast is clear. Then he walks in and takes a few steps before checking to see if the others are yet following him. Suddenly, a strange sound causes him to spin around and see a ghostly figure emerging from the sheets. Thinking it's a monster, Dopey shrieks in terror and runs back towards the steps. The others are almost at the top as he runs out

Grumpy: Here it comes!

Dopey bumps into the others, and they all fall down the stairs in a heap. Frightened out of their wits, six of the dwarfs run out the front door in the following order: Bashful, Sleepy, Grumpy, Sneezy, Happy and Doc, who locks the door behind him. Dopey, yet stuck in the house, runs smack into the door and pulls on it. The others, thinking the thing in their bedroom is trying to get out, pull the door their way

Sneezy: It's after us!

Bashful: Don't let it out!

Grumpy: Hold it shut!

Dopey, convinced that the thing is awake and after him, pulls frantically on the door. The handle breaks off and sends him flying into a cabinet, complete with pots and pans. Tangled in kitchenware and whatnot, Dopey runs blindly out the front door. Outside, in a tree, the dwarfs are poised to take on the fact as it comes toward them

Dwarfs: Here it comes. Now's our chance. Get it now!

They start beating up on the strange thing running towards them

Warriors: Give it to him! Don't let it get away!

Grumpy: Take that, and that, and that!

Eventually, the stuff is revealed to be Dopey, in fact. Grumpy hits him on the head once more until Doc stops them.

Doc: Hold on there! I-it-it's only Dopey.

The others only look surprised as the others speak, making him make motions, which tires him out

Sneezy: Did you see it?

Dopey nods "yes"

Happy: How big is this?

Dopey stretches his arms out wide as if to say "huge!"

Grumpy: Was it a dragon?

Dopey nods "yes" again

Sneezy: Has it got horns?

Dopey puts his hands to his ears and holds up his index fingers like horns

Grumpy: Was it breathing fire?

Happy: Was it drooling?

Sneezy: What was it doing here?

Dopey snores, pretending to be asleep

Doc: He says it's a....a monster asleep in our beds!

Grumpy: Let's attack!

Sneezy: While it's sleeping!

Dwarfs: Yes, while it's sleeping!

Doc: Hurry up, men, it's now or never!

Happy: Off with its head!

Bashful: Break its bones!

Sneezy: Chop it to pieces!

Grumpy: But we'll kill it dead!

Dopey gets up and follows the other Dwarfs with a pot stuck to his foot and another on his bum. He, along with the others, are now all the more determined to drive the so-called monster out of their home, not knowing who or what it really is, or if there's only one.