Tim Drake oneshots

(8) New Persona

The Batcave was unusually quiet that night, except for the sound of Bruce’s steady typing at the Batcomputer. He sat in his usual brooding posture, analyzing intel on Gotham’s criminal activities. Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, and Damian Wayne were scattered around the cave, each focused on their own tasks. But the silence had a tension to it—everyone was waiting for Tim to show up after his solo patrol.

Suddenly, the sound of the Batmobile’s engine echoed through the cave, and moments later, Tim Drake strolled in, his usual calm demeanor in place. He was in high spirits, which immediately raised a red flag for the rest of the family. Tim always enjoyed a good patrol, but this kind of energy usually meant he’d done something… questionable.

Dick glanced up first, arching an eyebrow. “You look way too smug. What did you do?”

Tim shrugged casually, pulling off his mask and tossing it onto the desk. “Nothing major. Just had a little chat with Bane and Killer Croc.”

Bruce turned in his chair, his gaze narrowing. “A chat with Bane and Croc? Elaborate.”

“Oh, you know,” Tim said, smirking. “I might’ve flirted a bit. Played the whole ‘you guys are big and scary, but also kind of impressive’ card. Bane didn’t know what to do with himself. And Croc? Well, I think I got to him, too.”

Barbara choked on her drink, her eyes wide. “Wait, wait—you flirted with Bane and Croc? Like, actually flirted?”

Tim grinned. “I mean, yeah. Told them I appreciated their ‘strength’ and ‘big presence.’ Really leaned into it.”

Damian, who had been sharpening a batarang, froze mid-motion and stared at Tim as if he had grown a second head. “You what? You flirted with two of the most dangerous criminals in Gotham? Are you suicidal, Drake?”

Dick’s expression shifted from curiosity to disbelief, his jaw dropping slightly. “Hold on. You didn’t just flirt, did you? I know that look on your face. What exactly did you say to Bane and Croc?”

Tim chuckled, knowing full well how this was about to land. “Okay, fine. I might have told them, and I quote, ‘I do love a man with a big figure… and a big—'”

“Tim!” Dick’s shout cut him off, his face a mixture of shock and horror.

Barbara slapped a hand over her mouth, trying (and failing) to suppress her laughter. “You did not!”

Bruce’s expression darkened, his voice low and disapproving. “Tell me you didn’t finish that sentence.”

Tim raised his hands defensively, still grinning. “Relax. I didn’t finish it. But they got the idea.”

There was a brief silence in the Batcave as everyone processed what Tim had just admitted. Damian was the first to break it, his disgust palpable.

“You’re insane,” Damian muttered, shaking his head. “You should be executed for the dishonor you’ve brought upon the family.”

Tim just laughed. “Oh, come on. It was fun! Besides, it totally threw them off their game. Bane actually chuckled. Can you imagine that? Bane.”

Bruce’s fists clenched at his sides. “You think this is funny, Tim? You flirt with Gotham’s most dangerous criminals as some sort of... game?”

Tim met Bruce’s intense gaze without flinching. “It’s strategy, Bruce. I’m keeping them off balance. The more confused they are, the less likely they are to react the way they normally would. It’s not like I’m giving them flowers and chocolates—though, now that I think about it…”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Bruce interrupted, his voice firm. “You’re playing with fire.”

Barbara, finally managing to compose herself, chimed in. “Okay, but you’ve gotta admit—what he’s doing is kind of brilliant. Croc and Bane are used to people being scared of them, not... whatever this is.”

Dick nodded, still incredulous but unable to fully suppress a grin. “I mean, I’ve gotta give you credit, Tim. It’s bold. Absolutely insane, but bold.”

Damian, however, remained disgusted. “You’re all missing the point. This is beneath us. Bats should not lower themselves to... flirtation tactics.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Relax, Damian. I didn’t do anything inappropriate. I just gave them a little taste of their own medicine. Besides, you should’ve seen their faces. It was worth it.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly torn between frustration and resignation. “Tim, you’re playing a dangerous game. The Rogues may be unpredictable, but they’re also dangerous. One misstep, and you could find yourself in a situation you can’t talk your way out of.”

Tim’s expression softened slightly. “I know, Bruce. I’m not reckless. But trust me, they didn’t know how to handle it. That’s the whole point. If we keep treating them the same way, we’ll keep getting the same results. This is just... shaking things up.”

Dick stood up, walking over to Tim with a grin. “Well, you’ve definitely shaken us up. Just—please don’t tell me you plan on doing this with all of them.”

Tim tilted his head, pretending to consider it. “I mean, Ivy seemed to appreciate the love letter. Maybe I’ll start flirting with Scarecrow next.”

Barbara groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Please don’t.”

Bruce shot Tim a warning glare. “This ends here. No more letters, no more flirting. You’re a hero, not a court jester.”

Tim sighed, raising his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. No more love letters or innuendos. But you have to admit, it worked.”

Bruce didn’t respond immediately, his stern expression remaining in place. But after a long pause, he sighed heavily. “Just... be careful, Tim. Gotham’s criminals aren’t to be toyed with. This isn’t a game.”

Tim nodded. “Understood. No more playing with fire.”

But as he walked past the Batcomputer, a mischievous glint still sparkled in his eyes. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, the idea of getting under the Rogues’ skin was way too fun to let go completely.