Tim Drake oneshots

Tim's viral revenge video

The Batfamily is gathered in the Batcave, each member seated or leaning against various surfaces, listening as Tim explains his plans with the same casualness one might use when discussing the weather.

"…and I've covered all my patrol routes for the next few weeks," Tim finishes with a slight shrug. "So yeah, if anyone from my usual Rogue’s Gallery happens to show up looking for me, don’t worry about it."

There is a moment of silence. Then—

"Tim," Bruce begins in that particular tone of concerned authority, "what exactly does that mean?"

Tim gives them all a sunny, reassuring smile. "It’s fine. I’ve got it all handled. Anyway, I need to go; the team’s already waiting for me. Bye!"

Before any of them can protest, Tim pivots on his heel and bounces out of the Batcave like a man with zero concerns in the world, leaving behind a room full of confused vigilantes.

---

The "it’s fine" part lasts about eighteen hours. Then, Babs sends a video link to the Batfam’s group chat with a cryptic message: You’re gonna want to see this.

The video opens with Red Robin—no mask, wearing a form-fitting catsuit stylized after his usual costume but with some obvious modifications—strutting toward the camera in a pair of thigh-high boots. The beginning chords of Chappell Roan's "My Kink is Karma" play as Tim seductively runs a hand down his chest, his lips curling into a mischievous grin as he lip-syncs to the lyrics. Behind him, a montage of fail clips plays, showing some of his most infamous foes getting humiliated in various ways.

Azrael appears first, tripping on his own flaming sword. Then Lex Luthor with a bird poop incident that Tim slows down for maximum effect. There’s a shot of Ra’s al Ghul fumbling with his sash and, of course, the grand finale—Ra’s face-planting into brickwork during a fight, a glitter bomb exploding over his head. The final frame transitions into the infamous clip from Mean Girls: "Why are you so obsessed with me?"

The video cuts to black.

---

The Batcave is eerily quiet.

Dick is the first to speak. "What the—"

Steph bursts into laughter. "Oh my GOD! He did not!"

Bruce stands in a state of rigid disbelief. "Why would he… why would he even—"

But Jason is already doubled over, cackling so hard that he has to brace himself against the Batcomputer. "This is the greatest thing Tim has ever done. I’m not even mad he put me in there!" Jason's clip featured a botched dismount off a motorcycle, but somehow, even he can't stop laughing.

"Drake has brought shame upon our family," Damian mutters from the corner, his face red with mortification. "This is a disgrace."

Cass, who had been watching quietly, slowly sinks beneath the Batcave’s floorboards until she disappears completely.

---

Elsewhere, Gotham is erupting in chaos.

Tim’s Rogues are indeed showing up, each one with a personal vendetta to settle. However, the delicate alliances they’d tried to form crumble almost immediately when they realize that every one of them is here for the same reason: to deal with their Red Robin problem.

Lex Luthor, deciding it’s not worth the public spectacle, releases a statement: “I have nothing against Red Robin. The bird incident was years ago and frankly, quite amusing. I assure you, I can laugh at myself.” He then retreats to one of his private vacation estates and stews in luxurious solitude, privately plotting what not to do next.

Lady Shiva arrives in Gotham with a different agenda, tracking Tim's scent to the Batcave where she congratulates Bruce on his ward’s "bold new era." She tells the family that she supports Tim’s “slut era,” delivered with an attempt at youthful slang that falls painfully flat. “Do keep an eye on him,” she adds with a wry grin before slipping away into the night.

---

Meanwhile, in space, Tim is blissfully unaware of the uproar he’s caused. Young Justice is hot on the trail of some space pirates, and between intergalactic brawls and the occasional zero-gravity shenanigan, Tim is enjoying his break from Gotham’s nonsense. He checks his comms occasionally, sees dozens of missed messages from the Batfamily, and decides to deal with it later.

---

Back on Earth, the chaos is reaching new levels. The Batfamily scrambles to contain rogue activity while dealing with the emotional fallout of that video.

Ra’s al Ghul shows up demanding to know what the hell is going on and why he was mocked so thoroughly. He ends up in a confrontation with Dick, who is practically feral at this point, launching himself at Ra’s with the full intention of ripping him apart.

Talia al Ghul appears not long after, with an air of casual menace that belies her true intentions. She finds Tim's audacity both infuriating and intriguing and decides that strangling him would be a fitting punishment once she gets her hands on him.

Damian does his best to avoid eye contact with either parent for the duration of their stay. He has also made it a point to never, ever bring up that video again.

---

Amid all the chaos, Bruce does his best to stay level-headed. But the psychic damage from seeing his third youngest son on the internet, dressed in a glorified catsuit, dancing around like… that... with dozens of Gotham’s most dangerous criminals obsessing over him? It’s a lot.

Stephanie is having the time of her life, reveling in the absurdity of it all. She even manages to coax Cass out from the floorboards, giving her a pep talk about how everyone has embarrassing family members and at least Tim’s video had some artistic merit.

Jason and Steph decide to keep a running commentary on the whole debacle, complete with a rating system for each Rogue's meltdown. Their conclusion: Lady Shiva takes first place for her nonchalant approval, Ra’s comes second for sheer indignant outrage, and Lex Luthor earns honorable mention for his surprisingly decent humor about the whole situation.

---

Eventually, Tim does come back to Earth. The Batfamily is waiting for him in the Batcave, expressions ranging from furious (Dick), resigned (Bruce), and still quietly amused (Jason).

"So," Tim says, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck, "I guess you saw the video?"

“You think?” Dick snaps, looking like he’s about to throttle him.

Bruce just rubs his temples. “Tim… please tell me this was all some carefully planned psychological warfare.”

“Uh… sorta?” Tim grins. “Hey, it worked, didn’t it?”

And as much as they hate to admit it… he’s not exactly wrong.