Tim Drake oneshots

A Little too Well-Informed

Title: A Little Too Well-Informed

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It was a rare quiet evening in the Batcave, with Bruce, Dick, Damian, Jason, and Tim gathered around the Batcomputer for a debrief. Everyone was tired but in high spirits, having just wrapped up a successful mission. They weren’t expecting any surprises—at least, not until Tim decided to open his mouth.

“Jason,” Tim began casually, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, “you haven’t eaten today. You really shouldn’t skip meals, it messes with your blood sugar.”

Jason blinked, his brows knitting together in confusion. “How do you even know that?”

Tim didn’t miss a beat, clicking away at the Batcomputer. “Your fridge was empty when I checked the cameras in your apartment last night. Plus, you didn’t get anything from the corner deli like you usually do. I figured you might’ve been in too much of a rush.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow, a silent question hanging in the air. Dick glanced from Tim to Jason, trying to hold back a grin, while Damian looked at Tim with a mix of suspicion and growing alarm.

Jason shook his head, genuinely bewildered. “Wait, you checked the cameras in my apartment? And you know my grocery habits?”

Tim finally turned to face him, looking almost confused by the confusion. “Of course. How else would I know if you’re keeping up a healthy diet?”

Jason shot a look at Bruce. “You knew he was doing this?”

Bruce’s lips thinned into a line. “I... suspected.”

“Suspected?” Damian echoed, his voice edged with disbelief. “He’s literally been tracking Todd’s diet. You should have mentioned this if you knew.”

Tim rolled his eyes, as though Damian was making a big deal out of nothing. “I’m not tracking his diet,” he said defensively. “I’m just keeping an eye out for my teammates. It’s basic intel.”

“I’m not sure me forgetting to buy milk is ‘intel,’ Replacement,” Jason snapped, although he couldn’t entirely keep the amusement out of his voice.

Tim shrugged nonchalantly. “You also need to replace that side window you broke last week during your brawl with those thugs. And don’t worry about your landlord finding out; I’ve taken care of the surveillance footage.”

Bruce sighed, but Dick couldn’t suppress his laughter anymore. “Tim, you sound like a concerned housewife.”

Jason, still trying to process the fact that Tim was apparently his personal Big Brother, shot Dick a glare. “Shut up, Dickhead.”

Damian folded his arms, staring at Tim with narrowed eyes. “And how many other people do you stalk, Drake? Or is it just Todd?”

“Just the people I care about,” Tim said matter-of-factly. “For example, I already know you’re overdue for a weapons check on your sai, Damian. You’ve been using the same pair for three months straight.”

Damian’s eyes widened, his face flushing with indignation. “You’ve been stalking me too?!”

Tim tilted his head, as if Damian’s outrage was unwarranted. “Well, yeah. I need to make sure you’re safe and prepared. I noticed you’ve been using that grappling hook more often lately, which means you’ve been taking higher-risk positions on patrol—”

“That’s not the point!” Damian growled, his face turning a shade darker. “You’ve had eyes on me this whole time without my knowledge? That’s an invasion of privacy!”

Jason chuckled darkly. “Welcome to the club, demon spawn. Apparently, Replacement’s got tabs on everyone.”

“Not everyone,” Tim corrected. “Just the ones who are more likely to get themselves into trouble.”

Dick leaned over to Bruce and whispered, “He means all of us, right?”

Bruce gave a slight nod, looking every bit the exasperated father figure trying to keep his family from combusting.

“Tim,” Jason said slowly, “don’t you think this whole stalker thing is a bit... much?”

Tim gave him a blank look. “It’s not stalking; it’s gathering intel. There’s a difference.”

“Oh, really?” Damian sneered. “Explain to me what intel you’ve gathered on me, then.”

Tim ticked off on his fingers. “You prefer to meditate at exactly 6:23 AM, you take Alfred’s tea with three sugars despite always complaining it’s too sweet, and last week, you watched the entirety of My Neighbor Totoro when you were supposed to be training.”

Damian froze, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits. “You’ve been watching my room?”

“Only when I need to,” Tim said breezily. “I wasn’t actively watching you; I just happened to see it on the monitors when I was doing an all-cave surveillance check.”

Jason slapped his knee, his laughter echoing throughout the cave. “Well, if nothing else, it’s good to know you’re just as crazy as the rest of us, Replacement.”

“Tim,” Bruce finally interjected, rubbing his temple, “we’re going to need to have a conversation about boundaries.”

Tim shrugged, already turning back to the Batcomputer. “Fine. Just as long as Jason promises to eat better and Damian finally replaces his sai.”

Dick grinned and gave Tim a playful shove. “Well, at least we know you care.”

Tim’s gaze flickered over the group, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You have no idea.”

As they started to disperse, Damian gave Tim one last suspicious glance before heading off, muttering something under his breath about “unbelievable invasive behavior.” But the corner of his mouth quirked slightly, despite himself. It wasn’t often you found out someone cared about you by secretly monitoring your every move.

Then again, the Batfamily had never been known for doing things the normal way.

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End.