From Singapore to the World: A Journey of Lesbian Love Across The Globe

Chapter 11: Ashley - The Girl Born with a Silver Spoon

Ashely. A Korean-American, born in Seoul and raised in New York City. When we first met, she didn't fit my usual type, but as we got to know each other, I realized I liked her more than I expected. She looked different from her photos—no makeup, wearing pimple patches on our first date, and in slacks. Still, something about her personality made me overlook my initial indifference.

We ordered the same dish, Chirashi Don, and sat down for a casual meal. I wasn't instantly attracted to her, but as the conversation unfolded, I felt that there was another side to her that I have yet to learn. She actually sounds intelligent. Afterward, she suggested a dessert place, and we went. As we waited, she turned to me and asked, "What are your intentions? Dating or something casual?"

"I want to date," I replied honestly.

She nodded and asked, "What's your type?"

I dodged the question and threw it back at her. "You first."

After a pause, she said, "I like someone a little chubby because I don't like skinny people, and I prefer people who have their life together." She continued, "My type is usually Black girls, but they're always broke, and our lifestyles don't match. That's why I'm trying to date Asians—similar culture, similar values."

When she asked me again, I gave her a simple answer: "Anyone taller and skinnier than me." Her face said it all—she wasn't impressed.

"You don't like fat people?" she asked.

"It's not that," I explained. "I just prefer skinnier people. And I like white girls."

She laughed, amused by how opposite we were in terms of attraction, where she liked black girls and I liked white girls, and I joked that it would be funny if we ended up together.

While we were still at the dessert store, she saw that I was carrying a Kate Spade bag and casually asked, "Would you buy me a Kate Spade bag?"

I rolled my eyes. "Why Kate Spade? It's such a cheap brand."

She laughed. It was then that I started to wonder if her love language was expensive gifts. She even mentioned how her exes called her bougie. "Why did they call you bougie?" I asked.

"Because I like to eat a lot," she replied, grinning. "I eat five times a day."

I found that hard to believe—how could someone eat so much and stay skinnier than me? But the more she talked about her background—attending NYU, her family's vacations in the Caribbean—it became clear that she came from money. Despite this, she was trying to live more independently now that she was back in Korea.