From Singapore to the World: A Journey of Lesbian Love Across The Globe

Chapter 11.3: Café Flirtations

The following week, we had dinner at a café I had been to before. Ashley recognized it from my stories that I had previously posted and joked, "I'm going to bring my future dates here." I poked her, and we laughed, but I couldn't help but wonder how serious she was.

I slid my hands under her shirt while we sat in the café. There were only a few people around, and no one seemed to be paying attention to us. I twisted her nipple, and she let out a soft moan, telling me to stop—but she never actually made any move to stop me. I did it over and over again. It was strange—she clearly enjoyed it, yet still played coy, as if she didn't want to admit it. I only stopped because the café was closing at 10 PM, and we had to leave.

I slipped off my ring and playfully placed it on her finger. She said she wouldn't wear anything other than a Henry Winston ring. I didn't know what that was, and she seemed surprised. "You've never heard of Henry Winston?" she asked. "It's what my mom wears." I later learned it was an extremely expensive brand with one easily costing 100K, and all my friends knew about it except me.

The next day, we met again after her dance lessons. I had received a call earlier that day, and I needed to return to Singapore quickly because of some manpower issues cropping up at work. But I knew April 12th was her birthday, so before meeting her for dinner, I stopped by a department store in Gangnam to buy her a cake. I picked the biggest one I could carry and met her that night. She asked how I knew it was her birthday, and I told her, "From your IG posts." She smiled, and in that moment, I felt something simple but real: happiness. Seeing the person you're dating smile at something you've done for them—that's the kind of joy that feels genuine.

We headed to one of those cafes after dinner with private booths and a TV. I knew right away we weren't going to watch anything on that TV. She switched it on, though, to some random Korean channel and seemed oddly focused on it. "Hey," I said, "I don't speak Korean, you know." She just shrugged.

I took the remote from her hand and leaned in to kiss her. As I started playing with her nipples, she started moaning softly, but then whispered, "Are there cameras?" I paused for a second and replied, "We're in a private booth, why would there be cameras?" She didn't seem convinced, reminding me, "This is Korea." I looked around three times, and honestly, I couldn't see any cameras. "Don't be paranoid," I said and continued kissing her. Every time I twisted her nipples, she moaned and whispered, "Stop." But she didn't really mean it and never pushed me away. My hands went below her waistline and I only stopped when my arms got tired.

She sat up and, out of nowhere, told me, "You're a bad kisser." I was caught off guard—no one had ever told me that before. Was she just not into me, or was I actually a bad kisser? I couldn't shake that thought.

Then she asked, "How much do you like me?" I hesitated and said, "I don't know." The truth was, I wasn't sure. I'd read somewhere that if you have to ask yourself whether you like someone, it usually means you don't. I flipped the question back to her, asking how much she liked me. She answered, "5 out of 10." I laughed and told her the same.

Ashley tried to understand me in a way most people never did. It almost felt clinical, like she was analyzing me through her psychology background. She asked thoughtful, probing questions. But even then, I knew I wasn't the person she really wanted. I wasn't rich enough to be the provider she seemed to be looking for, and I wasn't going to shower her with expensive gifts just because she hinted at it. I wanted a relationship where both people contributed equally, where things felt balanced. With Ashley, I felt like that wasn't happening.