From Singapore to the World: A Journey of Lesbian Love Across The Globe

Chapter 6.7: A Final Dinner in Paris

Before I left Paris, she invited me out to a restaurant, telling me she wanted to do something nice for me. I was excited. It felt like a special gesture, and I made sure to dress up for the evening. I waited for her outside her office, and when she finished work, we headed to the restaurant together. It took us a bit of time to find the place, with her navigating the streets while I followed along like a sheep.

The restaurant was nice—fancier than what we were used to. I could tell she had picked it for me, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed. When it was time to order, she asked what I wanted, and I deliberately chose the cheapest item on the menu. I knew she didn't usually go to places like this, and I didn't want to make a dent in her wallet just because of me.

As we sat there waiting for our food, I looked at her, and for a fleeting moment, the voice crossed my mind again: *She's not the one.* I couldn't shake it. It passed through my brain quietly but with certainty.

Still, I tried to enjoy the evening. We made small talk, and at one point, she admitted that she didn't really come to fancy restaurants like this. I told her I knew and then asked, "So if you're bringing me to places like this when you don't normally, does that mean you really like me?"

She didn't answer. The silence hung between us, and though I didn't press for more, I felt like her silence was an answer in itself. She did liked me but we would not last for the long run.

In hindsight, I'm grateful that she rejected the idea of us being together. At the time, wrapped up in lust and the whirlwind of our romance, I couldn't see clearly. But now, with distance, I understand that we were never truly compatible. And though I couldn't see it then, her actions were a sign that she felt the same way.