From Singapore to the World: A Journey of Lesbian Love Across The Globe

Chapter 3.2: Second Date: Cultural Misunderstandings

Our second date came right after her Muay Thai class. She arrived in her gym attire, the scent of powder lingering in the air. I had read somewhere that it's polite to say, "Thank you for meeting me today," so I tried it out. But the minute the words left my mouth, I felt foolish, like I was trying too hard to be polite. It seemed out of place, like I had put myself beneath her without meaning to. She gave me a quizzical look, and I responded with an awkward grin, pulling out her chair as we sat down.

We ordered food, and the conversation flowed easily. But when the bill came, we hit a cultural snag. I insisted on paying, thinking I was following my own cultural norms—being polite by covering the cost. But she insisted on paying for herself. She'd spent a long time in London, where people were more independent and splitting the bill was normal. In hindsight, I should have seen it coming. After all, she had learned the art of ghosting well in London, too, so I shouldn't have been surprised when she pulled the same trick on me later.

At that moment, though, I didn't think much of it. I brushed off her insistence and paid, unaware that her independence and my cultural expectations were on a collision course.