This is Me Trying ⭑ Rafe Cameron

sixty three

CHAPTER SIXTY THREE
[63]
song: i'd love to change the world by ten years after

The sun was unforgivable.

Cassie could feel it burning into her bare arms, the sand coarse and rough against her knees as she pulled herself up closer to the shore. Soft waves pushed her through the water until she could gather a footing. Digging her nails into the ground, she forced her wobbly legs up and out of the shallow water.

Standing, she struggled to catch her breath. Everything was spinning, she was so hot, so exhausted, so dizzy. She curled over and threw up before she could even process that she had to.

Kiara trudged past her, pushing through the exhaustion until she couldn't any longer, and crashed into a mound of sand. She toppled over and clutched onto her stomach, gasping for air.

Falling back, Cassie frantically moved her wet hair out of her face, as her eyes darted around. She did a quick headcount. Kiara, Pope, Cleo, John B and Rafe. Not minutes ago, the storm had abruptly stopped, and their boat had been pushed to the nearest shore. Leaving the remaining crew to swim the rest of the way.

She leaned her elbows on her legs, panting, unable to tell if she was sweating or if that was still ocean water. Her skin was dry, her eyes burning from the salt.

The boat sat not far from them now, against a sand bank. Waiting peacefully, completely still. It felt like it was taunting them. Acting innocent to the horror it had just put them through in the storm.

John B— who had barely let himself swim to shore before he announced he was going to look for JJ and Sarah— had now been gone for what felt like hours.

In his absence, no one spoke, no one even sat near one another. Rafe was farthest from Cassie, sat on a mound of sand far from the rest of the group. No one had the energy to get a word out, and what words they'd say— no one knew. How do you even begin to process that two of your friends had just been lost to the ocean?

And not just two friends— a brother and a sister, too.

Cassie curled into herself in the sand, not caring where it got, not caring that it scraped against her skin, she wanted this sun to burn it all out. Burn out this pain from her chest, burn out the horror in her mind, be something that hurt more than losing her brother.

As John B returned, alone, no one had to ask. No one said anything at all. The sun was setting, there was no civilization for what looked like miles. All that was here was sand, water, and a washed up cargo boat.

"We'll stay here." John B announced, his voice had a slight tremble. "Just in case."

Pope, whose head hung low between his knees, took a long moment, then responded. "I'll get some supplies off the boat. We need to get a fire started."

Cassie watched him stand up, her eyes hopeless, terrified, worried. She didn't want anyone stepping foot in that ocean again.

As the sun set, and a blue hue took over the mass of land, they gathered around the fire. Even Rafe, who had no choice but to join everyone else in hopes of some warmth.

But Cassie couldn't even bring herself to acknowledge him. Not to his fault, not to anyone's. She just couldn't seem to look anyone in the eye, to speak, to move. She didn't know what to do, nothing felt real.