This is Me Trying ⭑ Rafe Cameron

fifty eight

FIFTY EIGHT
[58]
song: cruel by public memory

Cassie sat at the edge of her bed, atop the soft quilted blanket she'd slept on since she was a kid. Her shoulders were achey, her eyelids heavy, her mind foggy. There was too much on her mind right now to even on focus her energy into one thing, so she just worried about all of it.

The warm light on her bedside table illuminated what made up her bedroom. A half-vaulted, low ceiling. Floral wallpaper, floral sheets to match. White sheer curtains, one window above her bed. A closet door across from it. Next to that, a paint-chipped, nail-polish stained dresser, drawers packed to the brim with unfolded clothes.

She tried to picture where she might live after they were kicked out. Wondering how in the world she could afford anything more than a trailer, if that. She had no job, no money, and whatever money she did have was going straight to Barracuda Mike. She'd likely be separated from her friends. Kiara would move back in with her parents, Pope and Cleo with his, Sarah and John B would be able to come up with something together, and JJ might end up on Goat Island with Chandler Groff if he really wanted to.

But just when the thoughts started to get louder and louder, a soft knock came from her door, and Cassie leaned up. "Come in." She spoke, rubbing her eyes, like that would get rid of the pressure in her mind.

Kiara poked her head first, then opened the door wider for Sarah to come in. "What are you doing?" She asked casually.

Cassie shook her head, a slight shrug to her shoulder. "Just..." it was clear Kiara's question had many answers.

She nodded, taking Cassie's lack thereof as answer enough. "Yeah." Kiara huffed out. They lingered in the doorway as Sarah shut it behind her.

"Is um—" Cassie inhaled deeply. "Is he still here?"

"Groff?" Kiara asks. "Yeah, he's outside by the dock. Him and JJ are gonna head to the cemetery when it's light out."

Cassie nodded, taking it in. "Gotcha."

As quiet settled over the room, Sarah and Kiara spared knowing, quick glances to one another before Sarah took a step inside, scratching the back of her neck. "How are you doing? Like— with everything?"

Cassie looked at her, eyes steady as she read her uncomfortable posture. She wasn't expecting an intervention so soon, and that's exactly what this felt like. "I'm fine?" She nodded suspiciously.

Sarah looked at Kiara, then back to Cassie.

"What are you guys doing?" She let out a small laugh to ease the tension.

Kiara shook her head, eyebrows narrowed in concern. "Cassie, we're worried about you." She spoke, moving to sit beside Cassie on her bed. "So much has happened lately. And you don't seem like yourself."

They both wore the same expression, hesitant, concerned, waiting to either retreat or relax depending on Cassie's reaction. Sarah stood leaned against the dresser, arms crossed, biting on her fingernails.

Cassie looks from her and back to Kiara, who was next to her now. "Of course I don't. I'm— I'm disappointed. I'm tired. We're losing our house."

"Not just that." Sarah shook her head. "You haven't been yourself in a long time, Cassie."

She seemed taken aback. Her heart started to pound, a thudding in her ear that made her feel like she wasn't going to get out of this easily. She wanted to keep on ignoring everything, keep distracting herself. But she could tell they weren't going to let her.