Book 2: Beginning Again -Carlos Sainz

Chapter 56/Epilogue

8 years later

I looked down to the ink that was smeared across the page. I love these pens, but damn, they do have a bad habit of smudging. The sound of the door opening was perfect timing as I dotted my period at the end of a sentence and closed the book. A slight breeze rolled through as I looked back, being greeted with a kiss on the head.

"Will you ever let me read what you're writing in there?" he asked as he plopped into the chair next to mine. He carried a cup of coffee that sloshed around as he moved. I watched him move around like it was a cinematic masterpiece, something I had been doing more often than not. He looked out over the balcony and towards the glittering seascape below. The crystal clear waters, cute villas scattered around, sun shining down on the people below. It was the view alone that Carlos claimed as the reason for purchasing the property. And the fact that I never stopped talking about it after our first vacation there together. It was a wedding present, or so he claimed, but I knew it was more of a promise to me that we would take more vacations. His voice took me out of my staring, once again.

"You ok?"

I smiled at him, watching the concern start to take place in between his eyebrows. I had gotten better at reading his facial expressions over the years, knowing exactly what he couldn't put into words.

"I'm fine," I said as I reached out to touch his hand. "Just tired is all. This whole insomnia thing is great for writing, but bad for my overall sanity."

I looked back towards him, seeing that the concern had embedded deeper into his eyebrows. His hand had drifted to rest on my thigh, even though I could feel the tension in his hand.

"Honey, I am fine," I repeated. "We are fine," I said as I looked down to what seemed to make up 90% of me these days, my rapidly expanding belly.

"I should call the doctor," he said, continuing to worry.

"We are fine!" I said with more emphasis this time. I narrowed my eyes on him. This has been a common theme throughout my whole pregnancy, from the first time I threw up from morning sickness to now, in my last few weeks. He was always threatening to call the doctor, trying to make me take days off work, buying me body pillows and reading about pregnancy. It was all sweet and adorable until the stress started getting to him. "You worry too much, you'll get frown lines," I said as I reached up to touch his face.

"That was the whole point of this trip, to get me to stop stressing out?" Carlos said with an eye roll.

"Precisely! Look at the sun and the water below, it's so relaxing out here."

There was a beat of silence as they both admired the view.

"I can feel your stress, Carlos," I said as I snapped my head back towards my husband.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry." He replied as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Here, read something. Maybe that will take your mind off everything, " I said as I picked up my journal and handed it to him. He looked from the book, to me, back to the book.

"Are you sure?"

"It's almost done, it was meant for our anniversary but I think we'll be a little busy with this by then," I said, gesturing to my belly.

Silence fell again as he flipped open the first page. I closed my eyes and rested my hands on my belly. I thought back to all of what happened in the past 8 years- the proposal, the engagement, Carlos' championship title, the wedding, and now this. It was not an easy decision to start a family, especially with me being CEO of the company at the time. It was one of the best days of my life, the day I got the call that I was being promoted to the job- the only job I had ever dreamed of. The hug from my dad was worth all the years working up the ranks. It took a long time for me to decide to hand the reins to someone else, but I still retained my job as a board member and senior VP. And watching Carlos achieve his dream? I can barely remember the day as I cried so much. I think I've gotten more emotional as I've gotten older, and Carlos has definitely followed suit. He cried too. And of course the proposal was perfect, as he already had a really high bar for romantic surprises. The wedding too, planned down to every perfect detail of mac n cheese appetizers and the figure-hugging dress I wore for the afterparty. A shudder went through me thinking about that dress in my current state. Finding out we were expecting, sitting on the floor of the bathroom holding hands while we waited. Like I was saying, the decision to start a family was not an easy one. But between conversations about timelines and planning and decisions about homes and schools, the lines showed up on the test. I say it was the universe's way of telling us to shut up.

"Wait, this is..." Carlos trailed off as he looked at me. I smiled in return. "This is about us? Is it..."

"It's our story, from the very beginning. I started writing it down when I couldn't sleep and then I just realized how much I loved remembering all the details. And someday when I'm old and my memory is shot,"

"That will never happen," Carlos mumbled.

"Then I can read it over again to remember. And I am going to type it up for Baby to read too, PG version, obviously," I said with a wink.

Carlos flipped through all the pages with awe before looking back at me.

"You," he said before kissing me, slow and deep. "Are perfect. I hope our daughter has your eyes and brain."

"I hope our daughter has your hair and your talent."

"I think I'll be a pretty good girl dad," Carlos said with a smile. "At least I have sisters."

"Personally, I cannot wait to see you with her," I said as the mental image flashed into my mind. Him chasing her around the yard, him carrying her up to bed when she falls asleep on the couch, him cheering her on at the karting track.

"I love you, both of you," he said as he grabbed my hand. The stress lines were gone and all I could see was happiness. He stood up and kissed my head again, but also stopped to plant a small kiss on my stomach.

"We love you too," I said back as he walked inside. I looked back out to the view of the Italian seaside, thinking about how someday our daughter, born out of love, would see it.