Magical Girl?! But I Was a Dude!

Chapter 2: First Day as a Magical Girl... and I Already Want to Quit

Chapter 2: First Day as a Magical Girl... and I Already Want to Quit

Charging through the enchanted forest with my glittery staff in hand, I couldn’t help but think about how ridiculous my life had become. Just yesterday, I was a regular guy who occasionally forgot to separate laundry. Now, here I was, sparkling like a discount birthday card, running towards certain doom. At least the trees looked nice, glowing with magical energy and all. But still, this was not how I envisioned my afterlife.

“Come on, Magical Girl! It’s just a little monster. You’ve got this!” Fluffbuns chirped, floating alongside me, its fluffy wings beating the air enthusiastically.

“I don’t even know how to use this thing!” I snapped, waving my staff around like a broomstick. “What do I do, poke the monster to death?”

“You will if you keep handling it like that,” Fluffbuns said, dodging the staff with an alarming amount of grace for a plushie with wings. “Focus! The magic will come to you naturally.”

“That’s not how things work where I’m from,” I muttered. “We use logic and science.”

Fluffbuns gave me an exasperated look. “Well, lucky for you, this is not where you’re from. Now get ready, the monster is close!”

As if on cue, the trees parted, revealing the most bizarre creature I had ever seen. Imagine if a dragon, a centipede, and a particularly angry housecat had a baby. That’s what I was up against. It hissed, snarled, and immediately charged in my direction, its many legs skittering over the ground.

I froze. “That’s a ‘little’ monster?!”

Fluffbuns puffed up its tiny chest. “Compared to what you’ll face later, yes. Now, attack!”

I glanced down at my glowing staff, holding it awkwardly like a reluctant wizard. “I’m supposed to just wave this thing around and hope for the best?”

“Basically!” Fluffbuns said, giving me an unhelpfully cheerful thumbs-up.

Great. So not only was I a magical girl, I was also apparently supposed to be an expert on magical combat from day one. Typical isekai logic. With no other option, I lifted the staff and pointed it at the charging monster, hoping it wouldn’t bite my head off before I could figure out how this all worked.

“Uh… sparkle blast? Glitter beam? Frilly—”

Before I could finish naming every terrible attack I could think of, the staff actually responded. A giant wave of pink sparkles shot out of it, smacking the monster right in the face. The creature screeched, reeling back, and collapsed with a loud thud.

I blinked. “Did I… just kill it? With glitter?”

“You did it!” Fluffbuns squealed, doing a little mid-air dance. “I knew you could!”

I, however, was not so thrilled. “I’m going to have nightmares about this for the rest of my life.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Fluffbuns said, landing on my shoulder. “You’ll get used to it! Besides, you’re a natural. That attack was impressive!”

“Yeah, sure,” I muttered, poking the unconscious monster with the staff. It didn’t move, which I took as a good sign. “So what now? Do I, like, collect loot or something?”

“No loot,” Fluffbuns said with a sigh. “You’re not in a video game. Your reward is the satisfaction of knowing you’ve saved the village!”

“Of course it is.” I slumped against a tree, still holding the sparkly staff. “I swear, if this day gets any weirder—”

I stopped mid-sentence as a group of villagers ran out of the woods, their faces alight with gratitude and… flowers? Why were they holding flowers?

“Oh no,” I muttered. “This isn’t going to be good.”

The villagers surrounded me, their leader—a short, round man with an impressive mustache—stepping forward with an unnecessarily dramatic bow.

“O, glorious magical girl, you have saved our humble village from destruction!” he said, his voice filled with awe. “Please accept these flowers as a token of our gratitude.”

I glanced at Fluffbuns, who looked way too pleased with this situation. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Just smile and wave!” Fluffbuns whispered, nudging me.

I forced a grin, though I was pretty sure it looked more like I was constipated. “Uh… thanks?”

The villagers cheered, and before I could protest, they began throwing flowers at me like I was some kind of sparkly goddess. Petals rained down on my head, sticking to my hair and dress as I stood there, helplessly trying to avoid getting a daisy stuck in my mouth.

“This is… too much,” I mumbled, spitting out a rose petal.

Fluffbuns fluttered next to my ear. “You should get used to it! You’re the village hero now!”

I groaned, brushing petals off my glittery skirt. “Can I at least get a normal outfit? I look like a cotton candy explosion.”

“Afraid not!” Fluffbuns said with a grin. “You’ve got a long journey ahead as the legendary magical girl!”

I looked around at the cheering villagers, then down at my frilly dress, then at the unconscious monster that had somehow been defeated by a blast of glitter. This was my life now. Sparkles, monsters, and all.

“Well,” I muttered, “at least it can’t get worse.”

Spoiler alert: It was about to get much worse.