Magical Girl?! But I Was a Dude!

Chapter 13: A Not-So-Stealthy Stakeout

Chapter 13: A Not-So-Stealthy Stakeout

After the chaotic arrival of Glitterpuff, the village settled into what I could only describe as “normal” for Sparkle Hills: people going about their day while casually dodging random glitter explosions caused by our newly adopted giant sparkly mascot. Glitterpuff had taken a liking to the bakery and was now unofficially employed as the village’s glitter delivery service—whether they liked it or not.

With Glitterpuff occupied, I was ready to enjoy a day of rest. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

“Psst! Hey!” Snoofles whispered urgently from behind a bush as I strolled past the fountain.

I paused mid-step, eyeing the bush suspiciously. “What are you doing?”

“Shh!” Snoofles popped its head out, motioning for me to come closer. “We’re on a top-secret mission.”

I groaned. “Please tell me this isn’t another cupcake heist.”

Snoofles shook its head, eyes wide with excitement. “Nope! This time, it’s serious. We’ve got a villain to catch.”

Now that got my attention. “Villain? What villain?”

Snoofles glanced around dramatically before leaning in close, whispering, “Someone’s been stealing all the glitter from the village.”

I stared at Snoofles. “Uh, you’re telling me we’re investigating a glitter theft in a village where Glitterpuff exists? The creature that literally sheds glitter everywhere it goes?”

“That’s the thing!” Snoofles said, hopping out of the bush and pacing around in agitation. “Glitterpuff can’t keep up with the demand because someone’s been taking huge amounts of it. It’s too much even for Glitterpuff to produce!”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. I had about a thousand questions, but I knew better than to ask. Instead, I rubbed my temples and sighed. “Okay, fine. So what’s the plan?”

Snoofles grinned, clearly pleased I was on board. “A stakeout!”

“A stakeout?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Where?”

“Right here!” Snoofles said, motioning to the bush.

I looked at the bush. I looked at Snoofles. Then I looked at the bush again. “You want us to hide in a bush and wait for someone to steal glitter?”

Snoofles nodded eagerly. “Exactly!”

I sighed, knowing I was going to regret this. “Fine. Let’s do it.”

---

Cut to two hours later, and we were still sitting in the bush, waiting for something—anything—to happen. My legs were cramping, my back was sore, and worst of all, I was now covered in leaves and twigs. Snoofles, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed, happily munching on a snack while keeping an eye on the village.

“This is ridiculous,” I muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “There’s no way anyone’s actually stealing glitter. It’s probably just—”

Suddenly, Snoofles nudged me with a frosting-covered paw. “Shh! Look! Over there!”

I followed Snoofles’ gaze and squinted toward the bakery. Sure enough, a figure dressed in all black—complete with a comically large sack—was sneaking around the back, tiptoeing in what they clearly thought was a stealthy manner.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I whispered. “Who steals glitter in broad daylight?”

Snoofles grinned. “Told you! Come on, let’s catch ‘em!”

Before I could protest, Snoofles darted out of the bush, leaving me scrambling to follow. We crept behind the figure—well, I crept, Snoofles was more of a bouncing blur—and approached as quietly as we could. The figure was too focused on shoveling glitter into their sack to notice us.

“Alright, glitter thief,” I said, stepping forward. “Caught you red-handed!”

The figure froze, slowly turning to face us. As they pulled down their black hood, I realized it was none other than... Old Man Jenkins?

“Wait, what?” I blinked in confusion. “You’re the glitter thief?”

Old Man Jenkins—who, up until this point, I had assumed was a harmless old villager who spent his days playing checkers by the fountain—glared at me. “So what if I am? Glitter’s worth a fortune in the black market!”

I stared at him. “There’s a black market… for glitter?”

Jenkins puffed up his chest. “You bet there is! And I’ve got a monopoly on it. With Glitterpuff shedding sparkles everywhere, I couldn’t resist cashing in!”

Snoofles gasped. “How could you, Jenkins? Glitter is for everyone, not just for your secret empire!”

Jenkins smirked. “Too late. I’ve already sold half the stash to a traveling wizard!”

I crossed my arms. “Well, you’re not getting away with it this time. Hand over the glitter!”

Jenkins cackled like the villain he clearly believed himself to be. “Catch me if you can!” With surprising agility for someone his age, he grabbed the sack and bolted down the alley.

“After him!” Snoofles shouted, bouncing into action.

We took off after Jenkins, sprinting through the village as he weaved through narrow streets and dodged startled villagers. For an old man, he was fast—unnervingly fast. I was already panting by the time we turned the corner, only to see him scaling a fence with the agility of a parkour expert.

“What is happening right now?” I gasped as we chased him down yet another alley.

Snoofles, ever the optimist, yelled, “We’re not letting him get away!”

We burst into the town square just as Jenkins made a break for the open road leading out of the village. He looked back at us, smirking—until his foot caught on a loose cobblestone, sending him flying forward.

The glitter sack exploded on impact.

A cloud of glitter engulfed the square, sparkling in the sunlight like some kind of magical disco ball. Jenkins lay in the middle of it, coughing and sputtering as he tried to stand up, now covered head to toe in rainbow sparkles.

I walked over, breathing hard, and stared down at the glitter-covered Jenkins. “Well, that’s one way to go out.”

Snoofles bounded up, grinning. “Nice try, Jenkins. But you’re busted!”

The villagers gathered around, gasping at the sight of the notorious glitter thief finally caught. Some of them even started cheering.

As Jenkins was dragged off by the local authorities—who, to my surprise, seemed to take glitter theft very seriously—I let out a long sigh of relief. “Well, that was... ridiculous.”

Snoofles nodded, still bouncing. “Ridiculously awesome!”

I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help a smile. “Let’s just hope that’s the last glitter-related crisis we have to deal with.”

Snoofles beamed. “Don’t worry! There’s always something new around the corner!”

And knowing my luck in this world, Snoofles was probably right. But for now, I was content to enjoy the small victory. Even if it came covered in glitter.