Magical Girl?! But I Was a Dude!

Chapter 16: The Great Glitter Clean-Up (And More Trouble)

Chapter 16: The Great Glitter Clean-Up (And More Trouble)

With the Glitterpocalypse narrowly averted, I thought maybe—just maybe—I’d get a break. But nope. Now I was knee-deep in glitter. And it wasn’t just me; every villager was covered in the stuff, looking like they’d all just rolled through a craft store explosion.

“So, uh, who’s going to clean this up?” I asked, looking around at the purple glitter piled up to my knees.

“Clean up?” Snoofles gasped, horrified. “Why would we do that? It’s so shiny!”

Fluffbuns flitted around, inspecting the mess. “Actually, it might be… a good idea to clean it. Otherwise, the village may stay this sparkly forever.”

One of the elder villagers overheard and stumbled over, brushing glitter off his beard. “Sparkly forever, you say? Why, that’s not so bad! Think of the tourism we could attract!”

I blinked. “Tourism? In a magical village where disaster strikes every other day?”

The elder waved a hand. “Pish posh! We just survived the Glitterpocalypse. We’re practically heroes now. Imagine the stories we could tell!”

“Oh, right, I can see it now,” I muttered, holding up my hands as if framing a sign. “Welcome to Sparkle Hills: Land of Imminent Catastrophe and Glitter Tornadoes. Fun for the whole family.”

Snoofles clapped, clearly on board. “Yes! And we can have glitter tours, glitter souvenirs, maybe even a glitter castle!”

I looked at Snoofles, horrified. “You… want more glitter?”

But it was too late. The villagers were getting excited, imagining all the “glitter-based attractions” they could build. Some had already started stacking up piles of glitter into something resembling towers, declaring them “Sparkle Landmarks.”

“Okay, everyone,” I shouted, trying to get them back on track. “The glitter storm may be over, but this is still a mess! We’re not turning it into a theme park—right?”

As usual, they ignored me. Meanwhile, Fluffbuns was fluttering by my side, sighing heavily. “Maybe we could make this work, you know? It could be… a glitter sanctuary?”

I groaned, slumping down onto a nearby glitter mound. “You’re all hopeless. Is there anyone in this village who doesn’t want to be buried in glitter forever?”

That’s when Glitterpuff roared happily from across the square, tossing piles of glitter into the air like confetti. Clearly, he was thrilled.

As I watched the chaos unfold, something sparkled brightly in the corner of my eye. I turned and spotted a strange, golden glimmer coming from behind one of the glitter piles. Curious, I brushed aside some glitter and found a small, ornate chest half-buried in the mess.

“Oh no,” I whispered to myself, recognizing the signs of impending weirdness.

I pulled the chest out, brushing off glitter until I could see the intricate symbols carved into the wood. It looked like something you’d find in an old adventurer’s treasure stash. I tried to open it, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Fluffbuns, do you know anything about this?” I called over to her, hoping for a hint that wouldn’t involve cursed glitter beasts or ancient keystones.

Fluffbuns fluttered down, examining the chest. “Hmm… it looks like an Enchanted Glitter Box. They say only a true Glitter Master can open it!”

“A Glitter Master?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Please don’t tell me I have to do some weird sparkly ritual to open this thing.”

Fluffbuns giggled. “Actually, it’s usually much simpler. Just sprinkle a bit of glitter on top and it should open.”

“Oh, good, we only have a mountain of glitter to work with.” I grabbed a handful of purple glitter from the ground and sprinkled it over the chest. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, with a soft click, the lid popped open.

Inside was a small, glowing vial filled with a swirling, golden liquid. A label on the side read, “Essence of Glitter Phoenix.”

“Essence of… what?” I whispered.

Fluffbuns gasped, covering her tiny mouth with her wings. “That’s a powerful magical potion! They say a single drop can turn anyone into a master of glitter magic.”

“Oh, great,” I deadpanned. “Exactly what I needed.”

Snoofles, naturally, had already spotted the vial from across the square and came bounding over. “Ooh, are we drinking potions now? I love potions!”

I held the vial out of his reach. “No way. This seems like the kind of thing that would turn us all into glitter zombies or something.”

Fluffbuns flitted closer, examining the vial. “Actually, it could be helpful! If you drink it, you’d gain control over all this glitter. Maybe you could even… clean it up?”

I looked at her, skeptical. “And I’d just end up covered in glitter, too, right?”

Fluffbuns tilted her head, thinking. “Well, maybe… but think of it as a small price to pay for saving the village. Again.”

I sighed, staring at the glowing liquid. “Fine. But if I turn into a giant glitter monster, you’re all responsible.”

With that, I popped the cork on the vial and took a hesitant sip. The liquid tasted sweet, like honey mixed with stardust, and immediately, I felt a strange, tingling sensation.

“Anything happening?” Snoofles asked, bouncing in excitement.

I looked down, noticing my skin was starting to shimmer. A faint golden glow surrounded me, and when I raised my hand, glitter from the ground floated up, swirling around me.

“Oh no,” I muttered. “I think it’s working.”

Suddenly, I realized I could feel the glitter around me, like a weird sixth sense. I lifted my hands, focusing, and the glitter in the air started gathering, forming a neat pile in front of me.

“It’s actually working!” I said, half surprised, half relieved.

Fluffbuns clapped her tiny wings together. “You’re doing it! You’re controlling the glitter!”

Grinning, I started gathering all the glitter in the square, concentrating on creating a giant pile. It wasn’t long before the village was starting to look almost… normal.

“This is amazing!” Snoofles shouted. “Can we keep the glitter?”

“No,” I said firmly, molding the massive pile into a giant glitter orb. “I think we’ve had enough sparkle for a lifetime.”

With one last push, I sent the glitter orb soaring into the sky, watching as it disappeared over the hills, taking the remnants of the Glitterpocalypse with it.

As the last sparkle faded, I glanced around. For once, the village was peaceful, quiet, and—dare I say it—clean.

The villagers looked around, blinking in surprise, as if they’d forgotten what the place looked like without the sparkle overload.

“Well,” I said, dusting off my hands, “I think that’s enough glitter excitement for one day.”

But Snoofles was already bouncing up and down, eyeing the chest I’d left open. “Do you think there’s more magic stuff in there? Maybe we could find another potion?”

I quickly snapped the chest shut. “Absolutely not.”

With the Glitterpocalypse finally behind us and a calm (for once) village, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Sure, I was still a gender-bent magical warrior in a sparkly, absurd isekai world, but for the first time, I was starting to think I might actually be getting the hang of it.

…Until, of course, I heard a faint rumbling from the hills, where I’d launched the giant glitter orb. I looked at Fluffbuns, who looked at me, her face pale.

“Uh-oh,” she whispered. “I think you just woke up the Ancient Glitter Dragon.”

I groaned, already picturing the next disaster. “Of course I did.”