Magical Girl?! But I Was a Dude!

Chapter 20: The Dreaded Decaf Dragon

Chapter 20: The Dreaded Decaf Dragon

After surviving the Bubble Basilisk, I had just begun to feel a faint, fragile sense of peace when Fluffbuns fluttered over with a look of gleeful mischief.

“So,” she chirped, “rumor has it there’s a dragon in the outskirts, and it’s been… cranky.”

I stared at her, horrified. “A dragon? Like, an actual dragon? The fire-breathing kind?”

“Well, yes and no,” she replied, clearly enjoying my panic. “It’s more like a… Decaf Dragon.”

I blinked, trying to make sense of this. “A what?”

“A Decaf Dragon,” she repeated. “Instead of fire, it breathes scalding coffee—only decaf. According to legend, it’s cranky because it lost its caffeine.”

Snoofles, always a little too enthusiastic for his own good, bounced up. “We should totally help it! Imagine having a dragon ally!”

“A dragon that spits decaf?” I muttered, trying to picture myself alongside a sleepy, caffeine-deprived reptile. “Sure, sounds… helpful.”

But Fluffbuns was already pulling me along, her tiny paws surprisingly firm as she led us toward the edge of the village, where a dark forest loomed. I took a deep breath, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this dragon would be the non-threatening type.

---

As we neared the clearing, the unmistakable scent of burnt coffee hit my nose. The ground was littered with steaming coffee puddles, each one with a layer of bubbles resembling sad cappuccino foam. And there, looming over the landscape, was the Decaf Dragon. It was about the size of a small house, covered in scales that shimmered like dark espresso beans, with deep bags under its eyes that spoke of years without a single ounce of caffeine.

“Oh, great,” I muttered under my breath. “It looks like it’s been awake for a century-long graveyard shift.”

The dragon noticed us and let out a weak roar, which sounded more like a long, exasperated yawn. A small stream of hot decaf coffee dribbled out of its mouth, splattering on the ground and creating yet another sad, foamy puddle.

I cleared my throat, stepping forward as confidently as I could. “Um, hey there, Mr. Dragon. Or Miss. We’re here to… help you get some caffeine?”

The dragon’s drooping eyes narrowed, and it let out a low, grumbling growl that could only be translated as “About time.”

Fluffbuns whipped out her trusty Big Book of Magical Creatures and flipped to the “Dragons” section. “Ah, here it is! ‘The Decaf Dragon can only be re-energized by brewing the world’s strongest coffee, known as the Arcane Espresso.’”

I groaned. “Of course, it’s not just a simple cup of coffee.”

Snoofles tilted his head. “Arcane Espresso? Where do we find that?”

Fluffbuns pointed dramatically to the east. “Legend has it that the Arcane Espresso beans grow only in the Forest of Frappuccino, hidden deep within the land of the Mocha Moors. We’ll need to embark on a daring quest to retrieve them.”

The dragon sighed deeply, laying its head on a rock, clearly bored out of its mind.

“Well, let’s not keep our poor caffeinated friend waiting,” I said, resigned. “Let’s get these magic beans.”

---

Later, in the Forest of Frappuccino…

After wading through what seemed like endless fields of whipped cream plants and dodging rivers of caramel, we finally found the mystical Arcane Espresso plant, nestled in a clearing that smelled like a Starbucks on a Monday morning. The beans glowed a faint, magical blue, as if daring us to pluck them.

Fluffbuns fluttered forward, carefully picking one of the beans. “Got it!” she whispered. “Now all we need to do is grind it, boil it in enchanted water, and serve it with a shot of foam from the Foam Fields.”

“Of course,” I grumbled, exhausted just thinking about the multi-step process. “Nothing in this world is ever simple, is it?”

Snoofles was already bouncing around, brimming with excitement. “I can’t wait to see the dragon after it gets its caffeine!”

I could only hope we wouldn’t end up with a hyperactive, coffee-crazed dragon on our hands.

---

Back at the Clearing…

With our precious Arcane Espresso beans and a splash of foam, we approached the dragon, who was lying in a pool of its own decaf coffee, looking dejected. Its eyes lit up at the sight of the steaming mug in my hands, and it raised its massive head, nostrils flaring.

“Alright, big guy,” I said, trying to keep my hands steady as I held out the cup. “Here’s your espresso. Try not to burn my eyebrows off.”

The dragon sniffed the coffee, then took a delicate sip, letting out a low, guttural purr of satisfaction. The effect was instantaneous—its scales brightened, the bags under its eyes vanished, and it straightened up, now crackling with a new energy that was, quite frankly, a little terrifying.

It tossed its head back, letting out a real roar this time—a booming, caffeinated bellow that sent nearby birds scattering.

“Alright,” I muttered, eyes wide. “Maybe we overdid it on the caffeine.”

The dragon glanced down at us, looking far more alert than any of us were comfortable with. But instead of incinerating us with scalding coffee, it let out a contented sigh and, with surprising gentleness, nuzzled Snoofles, then me, then even a bewildered Fluffbuns.

“Well, that was… affectionate,” I said, attempting to pet its snout as it purred.

“Consider it a thank-you,” Fluffbuns said, snapping a picture with her tiny polaroid camera, because apparently even magical mascots are photo-obsessed. “We just caffeinated a dragon, after all.”

With a final huff of satisfaction, the dragon flapped its wings, took off, and soared into the sky, leaving a trail of steamy espresso-scented air in its wake.

Snoofles turned to me, practically vibrating with excitement. “That was incredible! Can we caffeinate more dragons?”

I laughed. “Let’s stick to decaffeinated dragons from now on, okay?”

As we walked back to the village, Fluffbuns muttered, “You know, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of that dragon. I give it a week before it comes back asking for a refill.”

And as much as I wished otherwise, I had a feeling she was right.