Magical Girl?! But I Was a Dude!

Chapter 18: The Glitter Unicorn's (Not-So-Grand) Entrance

Chapter 18: The Glitter Unicorn’s (Not-So-Grand) Entrance

I’d barely managed to rinse the glitter off when trouble came knocking again. The entire village seemed in a frenzy, and I couldn’t ignore the sudden appearance of signs that read, Beware of Glitter Unicorn tacked onto every tree, wall, and even Fluffbuns’ house.

“What now?” I groaned, trudging up to Fluffbuns, who was busy organizing what appeared to be a collection of “combat sparkles.” I didn’t know why she had a stash of them, and frankly, I wasn’t going to ask.

She looked up with that gleeful glint in her eyes that only meant bad news. “Oh, just a tiny situation. The Glitter Unicorn has awoken, and it, uh, might be headed this way?”

I slapped a hand to my forehead. “What does it want? And why is it always glitter creatures in this world?”

“It’s their natural aesthetic,” Fluffbuns chirped, as if that answered everything.

Meanwhile, Snoofles bounded up, glitter in his fur, probably leftover from the dragon incident. “I heard the Glitter Unicorn has magic that makes everyone around it twice as sparkly! Isn’t that exciting?”

“Exciting? Absolutely not. That’s the opposite of exciting.” I glared at him. “It’s terrifying. Twice as sparkly means double the glitter cleanup.”

Before we could argue further, a distant, very musical clip-clopping reached our ears, and we all fell silent, staring toward the edge of the forest. Emerging in a glorious spray of rainbow-colored sparkles was, indeed, a unicorn. Not just any unicorn—it had a mane that sparkled with a bizarre mix of tinsel and rhinestones and a horn that glowed like a disco ball in broad daylight. It trotted right into the village square, sending sparkles flying with every step.

“Oh no,” I whispered. “This one is even worse than the dragon.”

The unicorn reared up, glitter flying everywhere, and struck a pose that would make any diva jealous. Its booming voice reverberated through the square, echoing with ethereal reverberations. “Behold, mortals! I am Glimmerhoof, the Unicorn of Unfathomable Shimmer! Who among you dares to stand before my radiance?”

Without thinking, I took a half-step back. “Do we have to?” I muttered under my breath.

Fluffbuns, however, was already in full sales-pitch mode. “Glimmerhoof! Such a… um… magnificent creature. We’re so… honored to be graced with your, uh, sparkles.”

Snoofles beamed. “I love sparkles!”

Glimmerhoof's ears twitched as it locked its gaze on me, an all-too-knowing look in its eye. “Ah, the magical one among you. Tell me, are you brave enough to face me in a challenge of divine proportions?”

I stared at the unicorn, wishing desperately for a quiet life. “A challenge? I mean… can it be something easy? Like, a glitter-free obstacle course?”

Glimmerhoof threw its head back and laughed. “Nay! The challenge is… a dance-off!”

“Oh no,” I mumbled, horrified.

“Oh yes,” Glimmerhoof grinned, its horn beginning to pulse in rhythm as an upbeat tune filled the square, somehow blaring out of thin air. I realized it was some kind of magical DJ effect, and I cursed my fate.

The villagers gathered around, clapping and cheering, clearly thrilled at the idea of witnessing their local hero embarrass herself in a public dance-off against a glitter unicorn.

“Oh, come on!” I waved at them. “You’re really going to watch this?”

The elder nodded solemnly. “This is the entertainment we’ve been waiting for.”

With that, Glimmerhoof began, trotting in place with perfect rhythm, each step perfectly timed to the beat. Glitter flew everywhere, forming sparkling patterns in the air as it expertly spun and pirouetted, completely unbothered by the laws of physics.

I looked at Fluffbuns and Snoofles, who both gave me a thumbs-up, which, given they had no actual thumbs, was more confusing than reassuring. Still, I steeled myself, took a deep breath, and threw myself into the dance, channeling every embarrassing school dance move I’d ever learned.

The village cheered as I swung my arms, shimmying in what I hoped looked like a cool way but was probably more akin to “swan having a seizure.” But hey, I was doing it for survival, so dignity was optional.

As I danced, I noticed the unicorn’s shimmering laughter wavering. Glimmerhoof was so bewildered by my erratic, offbeat moves that it actually stumbled a bit, clearly struggling to match the sheer chaos I was bringing to the dance floor.

Desperate, I threw in a cartwheel (I hadn’t done one since third grade, and it showed) and somehow landed on my feet, my hair an unintentional mess of glitter. The villagers were chanting my name, completely ignoring the fact that I was practically flopping like a fish out of water.

Finally, Glimmerhoof seemed to be reconsidering its challenge. With a reluctant sigh, it lowered its head and declared, “You… you have bested me in sheer originality.”

The crowd roared in approval, and I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. I had, somehow, won. By dancing like a fool.

“Now,” Glimmerhoof sighed, resigned, “I suppose I am bound to grant you one wish. Anything within my glittery power is yours.”

I paused, caught off guard. I hadn’t really thought about what I’d do if I won, and I definitely wasn’t expecting to actually get something for it. But now that the unicorn had put it out there…

“A glitter-free existence?” I tried, hopeful.

The unicorn looked horrified. “Impossible! Glitter is life itself!”

I sighed. Of course, that was too easy. “Fine, then how about a small wish… like maybe an enchanted broom that magically sweeps up glitter?”

Glimmerhoof blinked, then nodded. “That I can do.” With a soft glow from its horn, a broom appeared in my hands, emitting a faint sparkle itself but, thankfully, designed to eradicate glitter instead of spreading it.

“Oh, thank you!” I hugged it, thrilled to finally have a tool for the endless messes.

Glimmerhoof tossed its mane, clearly relieved to be leaving with some of its dignity intact. “And now, mortals, I depart—may your lives be forever touched by my shimmering presence.”

With one last prance, Glimmerhoof disappeared back into the forest, leaving a lingering sparkle in the air. The villagers clapped and cheered, the elder giving me an approving nod.

Snoofles came up to me, eyes wide. “You’re amazing! That dance was… I have no words!”

“Yeah,” I said, clutching my magical broom. “Let’s never talk about it again.”

And as I watched the villagers slowly clear the square, covered in enough glitter to last them a lifetime, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this world had a very twisted sense of humor. Because somewhere, I knew there was another ridiculous creature waiting for its turn to challenge me.

But for now, I had a broom, a little less glitter, and a tiny bit of dignity left… at least until the next chapter.