Magical Girl?! But I Was a Dude!

Chapter 5: The Magical Girl Support Hotline Is Useless

Chapter 5: The Magical Girl Support Hotline Is Useless

After two battles in a single day, I decided it was time to take a break. No more saving the village, no more magical explosions, no more enchanted fur or sparkly monsters. I just wanted to sit down, eat something that wasn't pigeon, and figure out how to survive this ridiculous world without getting myself vaporized by a rogue glitter beam.

But, of course, the universe had other plans.

I was sitting at a small wooden table in what passed for the village’s “finest” inn, staring at a bowl of soup that smelled suspiciously like feet. Fluffbuns, the ever-enthusiastic floating sidekick, was bouncing around, acting like everything was perfectly fine.

"I don’t understand why you’re so grumpy," Fluffbuns said, nibbling on a piece of bread. "You’ve been doing great! Two for two, no major injuries!"

I sighed, poking at the questionable soup with a spoon. "I just wanted to live a normal life. Now I’m stuck in an isekai, forced to wear a dress that looks like it was made for a 5-year-old’s birthday party, and my only job is to fight sparkly monsters. What part of that sounds fun to you?"

Fluffbuns thought for a moment. "Well, when you put it like that… it’s still kind of fun!"

I groaned, pushing the bowl away. "I need help. Real help. Isn’t there some kind of magical girl support system? Like a hotline for overworked, underpaid magical girls?"

Fluffbuns perked up. "Oh! Actually, there is something like that! It’s called the Celestial Support Line! You can ask them for advice when you’re in a tough spot."

I blinked at Fluffbuns. "You’re telling me I’ve been running around blasting monsters, and there’s been a support hotline this entire time?"

Fluffbuns nodded cheerfully. "Yup! You just never asked!"

I stared at the floating ball of fluff. "You’re the worst sidekick ever."

Ignoring the insult, Fluffbuns fluttered up and waved its tiny wings. "Here, let me connect you!"

Before I could object, a sparkling portal appeared above the table, and a soothing voice rang out. "Thank you for calling the Celestial Support Line, where magical girls receive the support they deserve. Your call is important to us."

I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, hi? Is this an actual hotline or am I about to get spammed with magical product advertisements?"

"Please hold," the voice said, completely ignoring me. A few moments later, the hold music kicked in. It was, unsurprisingly, some kind of overly cheery J-pop tune about friendship, dreams, and fighting evil with the power of love.

I covered my face with my hands. "This can’t be real."

Fluffbuns, ever the optimist, bobbed up and down. "Don’t worry! They’ll answer soon. They’re just really busy. A lot of magical girls need help these days."

"Great," I muttered. "I’m stuck on hold in a magical world."

Just as I was about to hang up—wait, how do you even hang up a magical hotline?—a voice finally answered.

"Thank you for waiting! You’re speaking with Sparkle Representative #372, how may I assist you in your magical journey today?"

I froze, unsure of what to say. "Uh… I’m a magical girl?"

"Wonderful! And what can I help you with? Are you having trouble with your transformation sequence? Struggling with a nemesis? Need advice on accessorizing your battle outfit?"