Magical Girl?! But I Was a Dude!

Chapter 19: The Great Bubble Basilisk Bamboozle

Chapter 19: The Great Bubble Basilisk Bamboozle

Just as I was starting to believe I’d gotten a temporary break from glittery monstrosities, a faint, distant rumbling noise echoed through the village square. Fluffbuns, who was testing the magical broom’s glitter-sweeping capabilities by hurling glitter confetti everywhere, froze mid-throw.

“Tell me that’s not another creature,” I muttered, tightening my grip on the broom as if it would ward off whatever insanity was approaching.

Before Fluffbuns could respond, Snoofles came skidding into the square, his fur sticking up in all directions as he panted, “Guys! You’re not going to believe this—there’s a basilisk headed this way!”

I groaned. “A basilisk? Great. What’s it going to be this time? A Bubble Basilisk? A Glitter Basilisk? Maybe a Confetti Cobra?”

Snoofles nodded seriously, barely containing his excitement. “Actually, it’s a Bubble Basilisk! It’s got scales that make bubbles when it moves. And the bubbles… are supposedly enchanted.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Enchanted bubbles? What, do they trap people?”

He shook his head. “Worse—they’re sticky. Once you’re in a bubble, you can’t get out without a magical solvent!”

Fluffbuns flipped through her well-worn copy of The Big Book of Mostly Useless Magical Creatures and read aloud, “Ah, yes. The Bubble Basilisk. Renowned for its ability to blow sticky, enchanted bubbles. Perfectly harmless if you’re very, very good at dodging… which, let’s face it, you’re not.”

I shot her a glare. “I’ll have you know I dodged Glimmerhoof’s glitter blasts just fine.”

Ignoring my protests, Fluffbuns pointed to a passage in the book. “See? Right here, it says, ‘Bubble Basilisks tend to appear wherever mischief and mayhem abound.’ Honestly, it sounds like you summoned it.”

“Summoned it?” I sputtered. “Just because I might be… accidentally creating chaos doesn’t mean I’m some bubble-attracting magnet!”

But before we could argue further, the Bubble Basilisk slithered into view, and… it was honestly the weirdest creature I’d ever seen. It had the body of a serpent, about ten feet long, covered in sleek, iridescent scales that shimmered with a faint rainbow glow. But the best—or worst—part was its face: as it moved, it kept blowing huge, translucent bubbles from its nostrils. The bubbles drifted gently toward us, looking harmless but full of impending chaos.

The villagers, having apparently developed a sixth sense for absurdity by now, quickly retreated indoors, leaving the square empty except for me, Fluffbuns, and Snoofles.

“Hey there, Basilisk,” I called, hoping against hope that politeness might somehow resolve the situation. “How about we skip the whole ‘bubbling the village’ thing, huh?”

The basilisk, with all the wisdom and menace of a creature that clearly didn’t care, blew a particularly large bubble right in my direction. It floated lazily, wobbling as if mocking me.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” I muttered, dodging out of its way.

The bubble floated right past me, where it landed with a soft pop—and immediately hardened into a sticky mass on the ground, trapping Fluffbuns in a web of bubble goo.

“Great. Now I’m a victim of soap-based warfare,” Fluffbuns deadpanned, flapping her wings uselessly.

Snoofles bounded forward, obviously too excited for his own good. “Let me try!” He crouched, eyes gleaming with determination, then pounced toward the basilisk.

Unfortunately, the basilisk was already blowing another bubble, and Snoofles landed right in it, paws flailing as he got stuck in the gooey sphere, which began to rise slowly, taking him along for the ride.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” I sighed. “Hang on, Snoofles!”

As the bubble drifted higher with a bewildered Snoofles inside, I was left staring down the basilisk, who looked entirely too pleased with itself. I glanced around, trying to think of a way to outwit a creature whose main offensive strategy involved weaponized bubbles.

Fluffbuns, still trapped in her sticky cocoon, yelled, “Remember! Bubble Basilisks are notoriously ticklish!”

I stared at her. “You’re telling me I have to… tickle a ten-foot bubble-spitting snake?”

She shrugged as best she could under the bubble goo. “Look, if you’ve got a better idea, I’d love to hear it!”

Taking a deep breath, I approached the basilisk slowly, holding out my broom like a tickling wand. The basilisk eyed me suspiciously, and I was sure it was just waiting for the right moment to blow another bubble in my face.

“Nice basilisk,” I cooed, edging closer. “You’ve got, uh… really impressive scales.”

The basilisk’s eyes narrowed, clearly unimpressed with my flattery. But just as it inhaled to blow another bubble, I lunged forward and tickled its side with the broom’s bristles.

The reaction was immediate. The basilisk squirmed, letting out a strange, hissing laugh that sounded like someone stepping on a squeaky toy. Bubbles flew everywhere, but now they were uncontrolled, floating randomly around the square.

With each tickle, the basilisk writhed more, completely losing its focus and accidentally freeing Fluffbuns from her sticky prison as it flailed around. She buzzed up into the air, shaking off the last of the bubble goo.

“It’s working!” she yelled. “Keep going!”

Emboldened, I doubled down on my tickling efforts, swiping the broom under its belly. The basilisk let out a wheezing hiss-laugh and finally curled up, rolling over as if surrendering to the unbearable tickling. I couldn’t believe it: I was actually winning a fight by making a snake laugh.

Meanwhile, Snoofles’ bubble had drifted low enough that Fluffbuns managed to pop it with a well-aimed poke. Snoofles landed unceremoniously on the ground, a bit dizzy but otherwise unharmed.

Once I was sure the basilisk was thoroughly incapacitated by giggles, I backed away, broom still in hand. The basilisk uncurled slowly, its tongue flicking out as it looked at me with what I could only interpret as reluctant respect.

“Alright, Basilisk,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “You’re going to leave this village bubble-free, got it?”

The basilisk let out a tiny, defeated hiss, then slithered away, leaving a trail of slowly popping bubbles in its wake. I couldn’t believe it—I’d just won a battle through the power of tickling.

As soon as it disappeared into the forest, the villagers emerged, cheering and clapping as they picked their way around the sticky remnants of bubbles. Fluffbuns buzzed over, her wings still a bit gooey.

“Well done!” she exclaimed. “I’d say you handled that with all the grace of a very bewildered, very desperate hero.”

Snoofles nuzzled my leg, practically vibrating with excitement. “You’re amazing! You made a giant snake laugh!”

I patted his head, trying to ignore the fact that I was still covered in bubble residue. “Yeah, well, let’s not make a habit of it.”

The elder came forward, nodding in approval as he handed me a small, mysterious vial. “As a token of our gratitude, please accept this magical solvent. It will dissolve any sticky mess.”

I took it, suddenly feeling very aware of how many sticky messes I’d been encountering lately. “Thanks… I have a feeling I’m going to need this.”

And as the villagers celebrated yet another bizarre victory, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that somewhere, in a distant marsh or enchanted cave, there was probably a Rainbow Slime Golem waiting for its turn.

But for now, I had a magical broom, a sticky solvent, and just enough courage left for whatever absurd challenge this world threw at me next.