My Boyfriend's Dad

A Decision

Gabby POV:

               I have been staying at Hector's house for a few weeks now, but I haven't made final decision yet, with my father being all by himself, I feel like I am torn between being able to stay with Hector and being able to be here when my father really needs me, Hector has been my most understanding person, so he hasn't force me to make a decisions yet, but anytime I feel like staying over, he always makes me feel welcome, and even installed a camera inside the house so I could keepan eyes on my dad.

     The more time I spend with him, the more I realize how much he cares about me, and for that, I feel like I owe him an explanation, as time goes on, I feel like his house feels more like mine than I could ever admit. I've been discussing this with my dad, and he obviously gets my point. I want to start a life with Hector, and I think that being this close to him could provide some insight into what our future holds.

Today is my and Hector's day off, so we're spending it together. I was thinking of going to the park or going for a walk to Manhattan, but he said he wanted to stay in today. I'm not sure what he plans on doing, but I'm here for it. He went down to the basement or whatever downstairs his to him, and he hasn't returned yet, so I stayed in his room all morning, and now I'm cleaning up the mess I left behind. His house is so clean and well-organized that it sometimes makes me feel out of place.

   But he never reproach me about my clumsiness, and that is something that makes me feel wanted, I don't really like the idea of being perfect all the time, and with Hector, I can be that nonchalant person and he would appreciate it, I am trying to make a picnic inside his house, because his living room space is so large that it would make a perfect place for that, I am trying to make it as comfortable as I can, but my clumsy self be making a fool out of me, but I know my man he would love every inch of it.

What's the...? Hector stopped, his eyes widening at the sight of him, he began to laugh, I feel so bad, everything has been falling apart, and the more I try to fix it, the worse it gets, baby, Hector stop me, lifting me up, and putting me down on the sofa, I feel like a burden lately, maybe it's because of my hormones, my menstrual cycle is about to begin, and my body feels weirder than ever, I'm sorry, I whisper to myself, my body is feeling weird Hector, and I'm sorry about all that mess.

I was simply trying to make today memorable, but it turned into a nightmare, the food is burnt, the bread looks dry, and the scent is dreadful; it's okay, baby. Hector laughed, and he continued, I know you're a bad cook, I roll my eyes at him, but the smile on my face never faded, let's order pizza, and watch the Notebook together , and as for the rest of the day let nature do the rest , he pulls me in for a kiss, then pushes me upstairs while jokingly ordered me to go upstairs to look for the movie, while he cleans up the messes that I've made. As I was leaving, he stopped me and said, "Thank you for trying your hardest, baby; I truly appreciate it."

              Not too long , we were in his bed watching the Notebook and eating the Pepperoni pizza I had ordered for us, I ate the majority of it, Hector didn't mind it at all, he loves when I eat, mostly because I haven't been eating much lately, the movie made me feel a sense of peace and anxiety, because sometimes I feel like love is the biggest challenge a person can face, I always think that love like that only happens in movies, because I don't truly believe someone will ever spend that many years repeating the same story over and over again, hoping that the universe will have mercy on their soul, so they can live lives to remember their love lives, I can't even fathom that idea, no one can love that deeply, not that I don't believe in love, but I don't believe in promises, people lie to make others happy and then leave when it becomes reality.

             Hector, yes he answered me, what it is, he pulled me closer to him, are you feeling sad again, do you want me to go get you the ice cream you like, I have it prepared in the fridge, I shake my head at him, it is not that I answered him, I wanted to ask you that, do you believe in happy endings, do you believe that you and me are more than just a regular relationship, do you believe that we can be more than what we actually are, his eyes landed on me, His piercing eyes hold me in and he sight, well I don't know what the future will hold for us, he answered me, but one thing I do know for sure is that I want you more than anything else in this life, in my heart I know you are what I want, you are everything to me baby girl, like Ryan Gosling's role in the movie, you are what he is to his wife to me, I won't stop at nothing to keep reminding you, your value in my heart, so if your heart deceived you, I won't let you down I promise you. I love you, I mumble to him, resting my head on his chest and  he kisses my head while holding me tighter than I could ever imagine.

It's not that I don't believe in love, but I'm more afraid of the responsibility that comes with it. I don't want to love deeply and end up hurting myself more than I already am. I care for Hector, and I know that I love him more than I can handle, and that's what scares me the most. What if I end up hurting him or hurting myself in the process of loving him, or worse? If I end up losing it all, I have so many regrets in my life, but being here in his house feels like a regret that would crush me beyond repair, and to make matters worst, I have already made my decision, but my heart is really wounded; how can something so simple hurt so badly?

          Can I really trust my heart, does it really get in the way of my happiness, when something as simple as agreeing to move with someone who has already seen me naked terrifies me this much? It's Hector, my sweet simple rich boyfriend, who has never judged me or made me feel less, so what's there to be afraid of, and moving in with him will give me an insight into who he truly is, not that we've never stayed together before,but that was my house, but this one is his, and that truly terrifies me, I hate myself for feeling that way, but am I to blame? I trust too much and now it  has left me broken, and now those terrible decisions of my past are starting to mess with my future. I trust myself too much, and it starting to make an impact on my relationship, but if I told him all those commotions, will he understand me like I am trying to be or would he leave?

Gaby, are you ok? Hector's voice pulls me out of my head, you being quiet for so long, what it is, you know you can trust me with anything, you know that, I see and pull away from him and sit up straight, my fingers crossed together, I feel weak, and I hate that feeling so much, why am I so afraid of Look, Hector, I do want to move in with you, but I feel like it will be in my own manner; I don't feel forced or anything like that; it just seems like we're taking a major step forward, which worries me; I keep thinking about what if and what not, and it's messing up with my mind, the pressure are too much for me and I don't want to overwhelm myself with it, so please be patient with me, when I am ready for this step, I will tell you, but as for now, I just want to be here with you when days like that come up, but when I decide to stay here, I will let you know, my heart beats so fast it almost feels like it will explode at any moment, my eyes stay shut, breathing heavily as I regulate my body.

It's okay, Hector's voice pulled me back; it was just an idea; I don't want you to overthink anything right now; if you're not ready, you're not; we're having a nice time now;Let's focus on that, but if you ever feel the need to be able to be here, I'd be pleased to have you as my roommate. I laughed at the notion, a wide smile went over my face, I felt relieved, and I knew that being here with him, at his home, when the time came, would be all I ever dreamed of, and to be honest, I couldn't wait.

After we had that conversation and went back to watching the movies, we ended up having a very great conversation, we stayed talking about what our future holds and about our next steps in our lives, and that night we made love to each other, exploring our bodies, intertwining our souls with each other's, it was like a connection of truth that we built together, and sometimes you don't know how much that connection can cause when harm has been done to the other souls, It was a moment of concealment, a moment of serenity, a tranquility that might lead a distressed soul to the death penalty, because people believe sex is only physical touch, but it is an intertwining of souls that connects with one another; I had no idea how much it meant to me until I was in his shoes.