Inivisible string: A Sam and Nehemia story

Chapter 18

They ate in silence, Sam was lost in his head and Nehemia was quiet, probably lost in her heads too. Remembering that story made Sam's chest tighten. Not because of the story, but because of his mother. He never judged her for her job, he hated it as much as she did, but still he never criticized her. That was one of the most prominent reasons why he was always nice to the courtesans, even Lysandra who Cel hated. She was just a girl who got a bad deal in life and just wanted a friend.

"What are you thinking?" asked Nehemia.

"Remebering my mother, that story just kind of brought her memory back. I never really appreciated her as a kid, before she was... before she died. I hated the long hours she worked, I hated that she wasn't with me all day. We had our own room in a boarding house, it wasn't anything lavish, but it was home. The only thing was, we didn't use it a lot. I stayed with the neighbor while my mother worked, and I was always so angry about it those days, I was just a kid who wanted his mother doing a tantrum. The night before she died, she had left me with the neighbor, whose name i don't even remember, and I was angry at her, so angry I didn't speak to her in the morning, she went to work the next night and a jealous client killed her." Sam could feel the tears trying to break through, but he didn't want to let them out right now, not here in front of everyone. "After that I went to Arobynn and the only good thing that came of that was Cel, eventhough we were at eachothers throats most of the time she was one of my only friends, the other was Lysandra, but she was always with the other courteasans training, and after her bidding night, she as always on Arobynn's arm."

"Weren't there any other boys around you while growing up?" Nehemia asked.

"The only reason I was with the assassins so young was because Arobynn was one of my mothers clients and she asked I was left with him instead of with Clarisse. At least as an assassin I managed to get out, a couple of girls tried to run away, from what I heard they were beaten in the courtyard in front of the others. As for male courteseans, there were few my age and they didn't mix with us. While Arobynn accepted the girls in his house for his twisted reasons, the males weren't really invited, ever." Sam let out a sigh and looked down, he noticed that he hadn't eaten, he had just been pushing the food in his plate, too lost in the conversation to notice before. "My childhood wasn't the best, I killed my first target when I was just shy of thirteen, before that I had been trained to kill a man in more than twenty different ways."

Nehemia got up and rounded the table, grabbed Sam's hand and tugged at his arm. "Come on, if we're gonna tell depressing stories, at least let's do it outside in the sun."

Sam was surprised at this, and let out a loud laugh, letting Nehemia pull him towards the door. They just sat in the left side of the ship where it was less full. It seemed today was the day most people wanted to be out. Sam couldn't blame them, they were almost at port, a few days at most. And everyone seemed to want to get out of the ship and into land, to get away from the smell of fish and salt. At least that was how Sam felt.

"I can't wait for this journey to be over. Are you ready to go back home?" He asked Nehemia, while keeping his gaze on the horizon.

"I don't know if I should. By now, my brother will have taken my place. He will have taken my people in. I abandoned them, it doesn't matter my reason, I still left them." Sam didn't know what to say. He felt the same about abandoning Celeana, but it was probably different, while he had left her for death in Endovier, Nehemia had left all of her people, including rebels. Instead of saying anything, he just put his arms around her. "If I went back, would they hate me? Would they welcome me back with open arms or would they shut me out? I'm afraid Sam, I'm afraid of them shutting me down, I'm afraid that me being back and explaining won't be enough for them to forgive me."

"I don't really know what they will do. But I do know a couple of things. They love you, and from what you told me, they not only love you for your position, they love you for the things you've done in order to protect them. You went into your enemies castle, you knew you wouldn't be going back to Ellywe the same. You are strong and you gave everything up for them to have a chance, you didn't even know if it would work. If they do not take you back, love you again, then they are not the people you thought they were and they are not worth the love you still have for them." Sam took a big breath before he continued. "I love you and if you want to go back I would go back with you, but if you want to stay away, I will stay away with you too. Whatever you decide, I'm on your side, always. But before you decide, I want to let you know, I would give everything to have a chance to talk to my mother again."